warning to anyone who reads this...it's going to be rather emotional and if you're not an animal person, you'll probably think i'm being overdramatic. but to anyone who loves their little critters, i know you'll understand...please don't feel like you have to read, i'm going to just ramble for a while.
yesterday was one of the most awful days of my life...i had to put my kitty down after a long life of 22 years. back in early december, we found out zach's kidneys were at 75% failure and put him on a regimen of subcutaneous fluid injections, with no clear idea of how long he would last. i was grateful that i got to bring him home from that vet visit, as i thought for sure it was the end. just hoping he'd make it to christmas, stubborn little guy he is, he made it well past, and as his health declined a little more, we hoped he'd make it to his birthday on march 9th. i was so happy for him when he cruised right through that date.
through all this, he became thinner, his back legs worked a little worse, and his voice became raspier. but he never let any of it bother him...he was still his usual self, constantly mooching for food, wanting to have good lap time as much as possible, fighting off our other younger cat...some days seemed pretty bleak, but he would bounce back and act as though nothing was wrong. unfortunately, this past tuesday broke that pattern as he went into his final decline. his back legs wouldn't work much at all, he was very wobbly and pretty much stuck to the back room and kitchen, as the stairs were impossible to navigate now. i slept downstairs with him that night, to be close to him, watch over him, and cuddle with him...
the next day wasn't much better, and my dad and i agreed that if he was any worse the next day, we would take him into the vet (if he didn't pass on his own before then). i slept with him again wednesday night, i'm so glad that i did...i'll treasure that forever. when i woke up thursday morning, he couldn't stand up by himself, and we knew it was time. i felt so horrible as he kept trying to get up, then collapsing in frustration...he just couldn't understand why his body wouldn't work. i was always thankful that he was still there mentally all this time, except for these last few days, i can't imagine feeling what he must have been.
my mom called the vet and we made the appointment for 4:30. the rest of the day was just my mom, dad, and i trading off cuddling with him and helping him to do whatever he needed. he grew weaker as the day went on, it was so hard seeing him like that. mom made blt sandwiches for lunch, and i had a few extra pieces of bacon on my plate...he perked up and made a voracious dive for my plate, snatching a piece of bacon, nearly taking my finger off in the process. despite everything, he was still zach, seeing him delightfully munching on that bacon for a few minutes made me so incredibly happy. we just did everything we could to make his last few hours comfortable, and to give him as much love as we could.
my dad drove us to the vet, i sat in the back seat of my car cradling zachie wrapped in a towel. such a beautiful day, the sun was shining on his little face and he seemed to be in bliss. i just stroked his head and cried. the vet staff was visibly upset when we brought him in, as he was their oldest living patient. i've watched two other animals be put down before...my last dog gertie, and my friend's cat. it always sucks. but i wanted to be there with him, i still regret not being there with another of my dog and cats (i was too young though when they left us). stubborn till the very end, the vet had a hard time finding a vein that would work, as he tried to stand up one last time. but he laid down and it took very little time, he went peacefully with his family around him. my poor dad started sobbing once he was gone...he picked that little guy out 22 years ago after our first cat died. he was my dad's and my dear little friend for so long...
it's hard to believe he's gone. i'm thankful that we let him go when we did, before he had to feel any pain or suffering. we showered him with as much love as we could in his final days. i miss him terribly already...i sit here in the back room expecting him to be on the sofa next to me...greeting me at the front door yelling for food...my mind keeps playing tricks on me. even the evil cat seems to be upset, surprisingly...he's been looking around the house and laying low all day. the dog is blissfully dopey as always.
for 3/4 of my life, my little guy was by my side. i was 7 years old when he came into our lives...with a strong bizarre personality from the very beginning. he was my little baby. he barely made it to a year old, after eating a half a spool of thread off my mother's sewing machine, and it was coming out both ends...they basically had to take his intestines out and make a series of incisions to get it all out. they didn't think he'd pull through, somehow he did though. with no stomach muscle left, he plumped up to a fat lazy lap cat, with a stubborn pissy streak like you wouldn't believe. he comforted me when my first dog had to be put down...he moved halfway across the country with us in 1989.
he was my best friend, from the time i was a little girl. always there for me when i needed someone to listen. he was there the first time i had my heart broken by a boy...he was there when i struggled through losing a friend. graduating high school, moving away to college, having to move back home when i hit a rough patch...he was there for every major life event i've ever experienced. it's hard to imagine life without him. i know in my heart he will always be with me...
i miss him so much already. the way his fur smelled when i hugged him and buried my face on top of his head...it was always so familiar and calming. the caramel-tinted fur behind his ears that was the softest i've ever felt on a cat. i loved scratching that part of his ears, and he certainly loved it too. i can still hear his meow, his footsteps...i pick up his old collar and the jingle of his tags is something i've known for so long. a magical little jingle. i slept with his collar next to my pillow last night, and hugged my old stuffed cheshire cat where he used to sleep.
i will always love my little zach...i'll never have another cat like him, nor would i expect to find that again. he was truly unique and i'm blessed to have had him in my life for so long. it's amazing how animals touch our lives, the unconditional love they show is like nothing else in the world. his memory will be forever precious in my heart...and someday (soon, i hope) i'll have his image tattooed on my right shoulder, opposite the mice who symbolize my wonderful grandparents who are gone. in so many ways, he will always be with me.
i could keep going for hours about my kitty, but i'll stop now...i'm tired of crying, and if anyone's made it this far, i'm sure you're tired of reading, i'm sorry it ended up being so long. it's been a rough week and i guess i needed to get it out of my system, writing is always therapeutic.
hug your little critters extra hard for me tonight...give them all the love you can. they're truly angels in our lives.
yesterday was one of the most awful days of my life...i had to put my kitty down after a long life of 22 years. back in early december, we found out zach's kidneys were at 75% failure and put him on a regimen of subcutaneous fluid injections, with no clear idea of how long he would last. i was grateful that i got to bring him home from that vet visit, as i thought for sure it was the end. just hoping he'd make it to christmas, stubborn little guy he is, he made it well past, and as his health declined a little more, we hoped he'd make it to his birthday on march 9th. i was so happy for him when he cruised right through that date.
through all this, he became thinner, his back legs worked a little worse, and his voice became raspier. but he never let any of it bother him...he was still his usual self, constantly mooching for food, wanting to have good lap time as much as possible, fighting off our other younger cat...some days seemed pretty bleak, but he would bounce back and act as though nothing was wrong. unfortunately, this past tuesday broke that pattern as he went into his final decline. his back legs wouldn't work much at all, he was very wobbly and pretty much stuck to the back room and kitchen, as the stairs were impossible to navigate now. i slept downstairs with him that night, to be close to him, watch over him, and cuddle with him...
the next day wasn't much better, and my dad and i agreed that if he was any worse the next day, we would take him into the vet (if he didn't pass on his own before then). i slept with him again wednesday night, i'm so glad that i did...i'll treasure that forever. when i woke up thursday morning, he couldn't stand up by himself, and we knew it was time. i felt so horrible as he kept trying to get up, then collapsing in frustration...he just couldn't understand why his body wouldn't work. i was always thankful that he was still there mentally all this time, except for these last few days, i can't imagine feeling what he must have been.
my mom called the vet and we made the appointment for 4:30. the rest of the day was just my mom, dad, and i trading off cuddling with him and helping him to do whatever he needed. he grew weaker as the day went on, it was so hard seeing him like that. mom made blt sandwiches for lunch, and i had a few extra pieces of bacon on my plate...he perked up and made a voracious dive for my plate, snatching a piece of bacon, nearly taking my finger off in the process. despite everything, he was still zach, seeing him delightfully munching on that bacon for a few minutes made me so incredibly happy. we just did everything we could to make his last few hours comfortable, and to give him as much love as we could.
my dad drove us to the vet, i sat in the back seat of my car cradling zachie wrapped in a towel. such a beautiful day, the sun was shining on his little face and he seemed to be in bliss. i just stroked his head and cried. the vet staff was visibly upset when we brought him in, as he was their oldest living patient. i've watched two other animals be put down before...my last dog gertie, and my friend's cat. it always sucks. but i wanted to be there with him, i still regret not being there with another of my dog and cats (i was too young though when they left us). stubborn till the very end, the vet had a hard time finding a vein that would work, as he tried to stand up one last time. but he laid down and it took very little time, he went peacefully with his family around him. my poor dad started sobbing once he was gone...he picked that little guy out 22 years ago after our first cat died. he was my dad's and my dear little friend for so long...
it's hard to believe he's gone. i'm thankful that we let him go when we did, before he had to feel any pain or suffering. we showered him with as much love as we could in his final days. i miss him terribly already...i sit here in the back room expecting him to be on the sofa next to me...greeting me at the front door yelling for food...my mind keeps playing tricks on me. even the evil cat seems to be upset, surprisingly...he's been looking around the house and laying low all day. the dog is blissfully dopey as always.
for 3/4 of my life, my little guy was by my side. i was 7 years old when he came into our lives...with a strong bizarre personality from the very beginning. he was my little baby. he barely made it to a year old, after eating a half a spool of thread off my mother's sewing machine, and it was coming out both ends...they basically had to take his intestines out and make a series of incisions to get it all out. they didn't think he'd pull through, somehow he did though. with no stomach muscle left, he plumped up to a fat lazy lap cat, with a stubborn pissy streak like you wouldn't believe. he comforted me when my first dog had to be put down...he moved halfway across the country with us in 1989.
he was my best friend, from the time i was a little girl. always there for me when i needed someone to listen. he was there the first time i had my heart broken by a boy...he was there when i struggled through losing a friend. graduating high school, moving away to college, having to move back home when i hit a rough patch...he was there for every major life event i've ever experienced. it's hard to imagine life without him. i know in my heart he will always be with me...
i miss him so much already. the way his fur smelled when i hugged him and buried my face on top of his head...it was always so familiar and calming. the caramel-tinted fur behind his ears that was the softest i've ever felt on a cat. i loved scratching that part of his ears, and he certainly loved it too. i can still hear his meow, his footsteps...i pick up his old collar and the jingle of his tags is something i've known for so long. a magical little jingle. i slept with his collar next to my pillow last night, and hugged my old stuffed cheshire cat where he used to sleep.
i will always love my little zach...i'll never have another cat like him, nor would i expect to find that again. he was truly unique and i'm blessed to have had him in my life for so long. it's amazing how animals touch our lives, the unconditional love they show is like nothing else in the world. his memory will be forever precious in my heart...and someday (soon, i hope) i'll have his image tattooed on my right shoulder, opposite the mice who symbolize my wonderful grandparents who are gone. in so many ways, he will always be with me.
i could keep going for hours about my kitty, but i'll stop now...i'm tired of crying, and if anyone's made it this far, i'm sure you're tired of reading, i'm sorry it ended up being so long. it's been a rough week and i guess i needed to get it out of my system, writing is always therapeutic.
hug your little critters extra hard for me tonight...give them all the love you can. they're truly angels in our lives.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
anemona:
Thank you so much for commented on my 30 seconds set 
lymphae:
Thanks for the friend request hun. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you shoot. I can't wait to see the outcome. You are beautiful!