ok, sweet babies, my dreamscapes are going to soon require a parental advisory. *whew* disclaimer - this may be one of those tmi entries ... if you don't want to know about the wonkier parts of the spiderwoman, then this is not the entry for you. ok, minus at least 25% of the ominousness of that tone. hee.
anyway, so for the last two weeks i've been dealing with absolute horrorscapes in the dreamtime. sharing this was inspired by tiamat, so thanks to you, ma'am, for your own sharing. anyway, the most vivid representation of this unfortunate trend included a tableaux of executions. basically, the scene was a sort of roman ruins setting with crumbling buildings and pedastals. on the pedastals were these sculpted bodies of what i intuitively knew were political prisoners. for some reason i focused on one youngish, defined male. i sort of identified as him, and was sort of watching him ... it was almost like an out of body observation, but i knew it was both the not me and the not not me. so, when the command was shouted the prisoner/statues had to assume and hold these different, almost beautiful positions. of course, each delicate and/or acrobatic position was one that allowed for a certain mortal vulnerability ... exposed heart, skull, eyes, etc. then an armed man would go down the row and shoot people either from a distance or at point blank range. he was sniper like in that the shots were simultaneously random and deliberate ... intended as much to create an atmosphere of fear as to actually kill. no one screamed - the only sound was commands and gunshots. i could peripherally see the other killings, but at the climax of the dream i/he was twisted in a sort of yogic stretch -- head down towards interwined legs with arms wrapped for both balance and form. the back was arched perfectly, and a loose girdcloth lay just above the hips. the executioner walked up to me/him and pointed the rifle directly into the last vertebrae of us. making no sound, i strained against the feeling of cold, double-barreled steel on my back. i silently willed calm while i forced myself awake. narrow escape.
this relates to many things, i suspect, not the least of which is the silent violence of days past. sometimes i am so beyond, but sometimes, like in these stylistic visions, i am there again ... silent, willing myself into separation ... waiting for the feeling of paralysis to translate into actual stillness ... praying for death, and recieving only debilitation ...
this theme carried over into a horrific wedding scene filled with coercions, threats, and mazes ... no escape ... i cannot fully remember this one, but the feeling still shudders in my bones ... a bit more than the usual fear of commitment. this is not completely unrelated to the above ...
so, this is at least part of why the arachnequarius has been feeling rather lowish. pasts unwrapping not at all like presents. the good news? we've had a change in the dreamtheme.
perhaps it was the cripplingly hot set between amina and aries. *aside* now i love the pictures as we all do, and i truly get tingly at the fine sg ladies, but MERCIFUL GODDESS - yesterdays set nearly sent me into orbit. there was a distinct need for some personal time after that viewing. can i just volunteer myself if they ever need a third? seriously ...
*pause for sip of water*
as i was saying ... perhaps this, perhaps the delovely gift waiting for me in my email yestermorning, perhaps cosmic forces, perhaps the odd warmth of yesterday's pre-snowiness, perhaps the brief hellos to all my sgct compadres ... i don't know what it was, but the dreams took a decidedly x turn.
it starts with the afternoon napattempt ... i lay down (it is ebv again, btw) and tried to sleep. for some reason, i get the slowcreep from roughly midthigh snaking up through the snatchdragon and settling in the lowbelly ...that sortof gingerycayenneheavycreamrrrrrrrr... again, i can feel something on my back, but this time its a torso and a heartbeat. i absolutely melt at the feeling of a warm stomach and breasts pressing into my spine and shoulderblades ... front legs against back ... mrrrowr .. so this is like heaven to me. also, i rarely sub, but when i can that is ultimate, and this was definitely a sub feeling. so, this strong hand starts tracing all up and down my sides ... dragging across and around ... pausing ever so tauntingly around knees and that little bone that connects the ear neck and jaw ... and then trails down the center of my body ... kind of cradling my right hipbone and easing across the right thigh. i sleep with a pillow between my legs, so i am already in rather prone position. ok, hmmmm, ahhhh, how explicit to be...
well, yes, so fingers tracing into and against and bloodsugersexmagicrush into lady snatchdragon ... pulse, pulse, pushpullcontract and i awake flusingblusing and yes pushpulling into a previously innocent pillow. i have some ... ahem... power in my netherstrides, so a bit of actual friction would have been a welcome addition to the vigorous dreamings. yes, at the age of 30, i have just had my first erotic dream. i've been missing out.
so, anyway, i awake at the height of ... shall we demure with the phrase, heigh of awareness? yeah, that, and unfortunately cannot enjoy any personal time due to a call i needed to take. i then decided to study, but my legs were rubbing together like a cricket all afternoon. i decided to luxuriate in a shower and enjoy the glidy goodness of razory fun (safely - i just love shaving my legs when i am feeling all sexified). i managed to sublimate into useful projects, but my little shedevil will not be supressed. SO .... i (tragically) cannot remember exactly what transpired, but in my nightness i was visited by 3 lucious, flexible, and smoothskinned ladies and, curiously, an actual male. i just remember a series of backs and arms and legs and yummygirlbellies. mmmmmmm. and yes, there were hands and hips aplenty. i only recall flashes and bits, but i do know this ... one of these divine creatures worked out (at least in dream) the twistyknots of my shoulders. ahhhhh. and someone went deep ... and what's not to love about that *shudder*
*whew* ... well, i hope that i did not totally explode any personal boundaries, but man this is a strange turn. i have a good imagination, and tend to get spicy with the daydreams, but never before has my unconscious mind done this much of an about face. nightmares/terrors for years and aplenty. i was a terrible insomniac as a child. but this sort of sexual revolution in mine tiny brains? totally new. and WELCOME. yipes.
and so, today, i am absolutely obsessed with finding fabulous garters and other assorted lingerie items ... coincidence? i think not.
suddenly i am really giggly and sorta shy ... like at a slumber party. gah, when i actually attended the rare slumber party in my youth i generally wanted to kiss at least one of the other girls present. now was i lucky enough to have those girlfriends who experimented with each other? sadly, no. but still, that delicious little tingle that kind creeps into yr tummy when tiny flannel knees accidentally rub together. someday i will tell the story of my first lady faire ... an anemic little thing with papery pale skin, thin blonde hair, and watery blue eyes. but i have shared quite enough for one day.
lalalalalala ... and this is why i say delirium.
anyway, so for the last two weeks i've been dealing with absolute horrorscapes in the dreamtime. sharing this was inspired by tiamat, so thanks to you, ma'am, for your own sharing. anyway, the most vivid representation of this unfortunate trend included a tableaux of executions. basically, the scene was a sort of roman ruins setting with crumbling buildings and pedastals. on the pedastals were these sculpted bodies of what i intuitively knew were political prisoners. for some reason i focused on one youngish, defined male. i sort of identified as him, and was sort of watching him ... it was almost like an out of body observation, but i knew it was both the not me and the not not me. so, when the command was shouted the prisoner/statues had to assume and hold these different, almost beautiful positions. of course, each delicate and/or acrobatic position was one that allowed for a certain mortal vulnerability ... exposed heart, skull, eyes, etc. then an armed man would go down the row and shoot people either from a distance or at point blank range. he was sniper like in that the shots were simultaneously random and deliberate ... intended as much to create an atmosphere of fear as to actually kill. no one screamed - the only sound was commands and gunshots. i could peripherally see the other killings, but at the climax of the dream i/he was twisted in a sort of yogic stretch -- head down towards interwined legs with arms wrapped for both balance and form. the back was arched perfectly, and a loose girdcloth lay just above the hips. the executioner walked up to me/him and pointed the rifle directly into the last vertebrae of us. making no sound, i strained against the feeling of cold, double-barreled steel on my back. i silently willed calm while i forced myself awake. narrow escape.
this relates to many things, i suspect, not the least of which is the silent violence of days past. sometimes i am so beyond, but sometimes, like in these stylistic visions, i am there again ... silent, willing myself into separation ... waiting for the feeling of paralysis to translate into actual stillness ... praying for death, and recieving only debilitation ...
this theme carried over into a horrific wedding scene filled with coercions, threats, and mazes ... no escape ... i cannot fully remember this one, but the feeling still shudders in my bones ... a bit more than the usual fear of commitment. this is not completely unrelated to the above ...
so, this is at least part of why the arachnequarius has been feeling rather lowish. pasts unwrapping not at all like presents. the good news? we've had a change in the dreamtheme.
perhaps it was the cripplingly hot set between amina and aries. *aside* now i love the pictures as we all do, and i truly get tingly at the fine sg ladies, but MERCIFUL GODDESS - yesterdays set nearly sent me into orbit. there was a distinct need for some personal time after that viewing. can i just volunteer myself if they ever need a third? seriously ...
*pause for sip of water*
as i was saying ... perhaps this, perhaps the delovely gift waiting for me in my email yestermorning, perhaps cosmic forces, perhaps the odd warmth of yesterday's pre-snowiness, perhaps the brief hellos to all my sgct compadres ... i don't know what it was, but the dreams took a decidedly x turn.
it starts with the afternoon napattempt ... i lay down (it is ebv again, btw) and tried to sleep. for some reason, i get the slowcreep from roughly midthigh snaking up through the snatchdragon and settling in the lowbelly ...that sortof gingerycayenneheavycreamrrrrrrrr... again, i can feel something on my back, but this time its a torso and a heartbeat. i absolutely melt at the feeling of a warm stomach and breasts pressing into my spine and shoulderblades ... front legs against back ... mrrrowr .. so this is like heaven to me. also, i rarely sub, but when i can that is ultimate, and this was definitely a sub feeling. so, this strong hand starts tracing all up and down my sides ... dragging across and around ... pausing ever so tauntingly around knees and that little bone that connects the ear neck and jaw ... and then trails down the center of my body ... kind of cradling my right hipbone and easing across the right thigh. i sleep with a pillow between my legs, so i am already in rather prone position. ok, hmmmm, ahhhh, how explicit to be...
well, yes, so fingers tracing into and against and bloodsugersexmagicrush into lady snatchdragon ... pulse, pulse, pushpullcontract and i awake flusingblusing and yes pushpulling into a previously innocent pillow. i have some ... ahem... power in my netherstrides, so a bit of actual friction would have been a welcome addition to the vigorous dreamings. yes, at the age of 30, i have just had my first erotic dream. i've been missing out.
so, anyway, i awake at the height of ... shall we demure with the phrase, heigh of awareness? yeah, that, and unfortunately cannot enjoy any personal time due to a call i needed to take. i then decided to study, but my legs were rubbing together like a cricket all afternoon. i decided to luxuriate in a shower and enjoy the glidy goodness of razory fun (safely - i just love shaving my legs when i am feeling all sexified). i managed to sublimate into useful projects, but my little shedevil will not be supressed. SO .... i (tragically) cannot remember exactly what transpired, but in my nightness i was visited by 3 lucious, flexible, and smoothskinned ladies and, curiously, an actual male. i just remember a series of backs and arms and legs and yummygirlbellies. mmmmmmm. and yes, there were hands and hips aplenty. i only recall flashes and bits, but i do know this ... one of these divine creatures worked out (at least in dream) the twistyknots of my shoulders. ahhhhh. and someone went deep ... and what's not to love about that *shudder*
*whew* ... well, i hope that i did not totally explode any personal boundaries, but man this is a strange turn. i have a good imagination, and tend to get spicy with the daydreams, but never before has my unconscious mind done this much of an about face. nightmares/terrors for years and aplenty. i was a terrible insomniac as a child. but this sort of sexual revolution in mine tiny brains? totally new. and WELCOME. yipes.
and so, today, i am absolutely obsessed with finding fabulous garters and other assorted lingerie items ... coincidence? i think not.
suddenly i am really giggly and sorta shy ... like at a slumber party. gah, when i actually attended the rare slumber party in my youth i generally wanted to kiss at least one of the other girls present. now was i lucky enough to have those girlfriends who experimented with each other? sadly, no. but still, that delicious little tingle that kind creeps into yr tummy when tiny flannel knees accidentally rub together. someday i will tell the story of my first lady faire ... an anemic little thing with papery pale skin, thin blonde hair, and watery blue eyes. but i have shared quite enough for one day.
lalalalalala ... and this is why i say delirium.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
anyway, ive been meditating on and off for years. ive recently become much more committed to it. i do have a neti pot. i used it this past weekend, but somehow i wonder if it really helps for the sinuses. i mean it cleans the nasal passages but can it get into the sinuses? what do you think?