ara_cale

So... you know how when you haven't seen someone in a long time you get really excited about seeing them again? You build them up in your mind, you remember all the great things about them and how things used to be. Then you actually see them and suddenly realize that you've put them on a pedestal and they're not nearly as great as you thought they were. In fact you realize that you no longer have anything in common and it kind of depresses you. That was my day yesterday. I went back to Reston to visit this girl that I hadn't seen in two years. I went to high school with her six years ago and we were so close. I could tell this girl anything. My hopes, my dreams, my indiscrestions Yesterday, talking to her, trying to fill up five hours with anything I could think of, was pure hell. I found myself wanting to default back to the weather, of all topics.
This wouldn't have been so horrible, except that recently I've been realizing that I am losing a lot of my close friends. In high school I had a group of friends who I knew I could tell anything to. Now that I'm in college I feel so detached from almost everyone. I mean, really, the only close friend I have anymore is Chris. As great of a friend as he is I feel like I need more female friends. I'm drowning in testosterone and depression! *sighs* I sound so damned melodramatic... *laughs* It's not that horrible I'm sure. I just feel so down lately and I'd love to have a girl to be able to talk to.
I'm also despairing about my love life. It seems like I found and lost the only, single, femme, attractive, non-crazy, ambitious lesbian in the Winchester area... *pouts*