Warning: This is the longest, most personal blog I have ever written on SG. If you want to read it feel free.
So I don't normally write things like I am about to on a blog. Of course I am not one of the SGs or a hot girl so I know my blog doesn't get read all that much. This is just something that I wanted to write about to feel a small sense of release.
Let me start this by saying that I wish I could remember all the other incidents and occurrences that have happened over the years to make this story more potent. This has been going on since I was about 12 or 13.
Anyway, my father may have finally felt the straw that broke the camel's back this past weekend. I have to go back to make you understand there. Ever since my father had a drinking problem in the late 80s/ early 90s he has had trouble with his family. They are very different. My aunt's have many philosophical differences from my father and he is very stubborn. I should say that I am not absolving my father of all blame in this complicated situation. He has done some things that add to the tension. However, he cleaned up in '93 and went back to school and provided for his kids, etc. Still he is one of the more outspoken people you will meet.
There have been arguments over family possessions since my grandfather died. One thing that has been in the family, bought by my grandfather, was a camp up in the mountains on north central PA. My uncle and father are the two that made the most use out of that place. When it was willed over to them all the children were having a say about what should be done with it. At the same time my cousins were going up there without the 2 major stakeholders (my uncle and dad) knowing what was happening. They were treating it horribly - leaving trash, burning very unacceptable things, not cleaning anything. The one time I remember finding a used condom on the floor in the bedroom. These are all things that would never happen when my grandfather was alive. Well obviously my father was upset by the misuse and general disrespect of what that camp meant to him. I think that is understandable.
The tension would continue to mount as my grandma would start seeing someone that really wasn't the brightest man ever. My father despised this. He stayed away from holiday gatherings when this new gentleman was present. A couple of my aunts seemed to be okay with it. The problem was that my grandma was going to see him an hour away and blowing all her money on him and dinners and gas, etc. He really didn't do his part in the relationship. He got sick and my grandma started to have to go take care of him. I could never really tell how much my grandma liked this guy or if it was just for companionship.
There were numerous other arguments that I can remember. One in which I grabbed my father and picked him up and walked him out of the situation. He is not a small man. I guess my adrenaline was flowing. It was the first time I heard him say fuck.
To get more to the point of the story, there has been a lot go on in my father's life in the last 2 years. He started seeing someone for the first time in a long long time. Things were good between them for some time. Then my grandma offered to allow him to buy her house off of her. She was falling ill and the house was in need of some major remodeling. My grandma would move in with my aunt. My dad moved to her house and began a remodeling project that is over a year old. They whole house is being refurbished. Shortly after moving, my father was joined by his girlfriend and her 2 daughters, one of which just graduated high school and the other will do that this year. They went in on the house, a new truck, and various other small possessions together. It was a drastic move considering how long he was without a partner. Well that quickly fell apart as his girlfriend grew jealous of the relationship he has with his children. There was a lot of drama and on again off again feelings. Since my father stopped drinking he has put his kids first over all else and she had trouble accepting that. So she moved out and now my father was stuck with more responsibility, fiscally and physically, regarding the circumstance he was just put in. They tried to see each other again not living in the same house. Honestly I think she had some unusual insecurities that made her act oddly in many situations.
As this was happening we learn that my uncle's house has burnt to the ground and he is going to come to live with us. That doesn't last for long as he decides to move into a travel trailer thinking he is infringing on our livelihood. This is not the case and my dad tries to help him out. My uncle is dealing with an alcohol problem as well. Somewhere in there, my aunts and grandma started leaving my dad out of the family loop. There is really no explanation for this. So my uncle is off by himself and my checks on him often. He finally looks to be getting back on his feet after my dad would find minuscule jobs to give him just so my uncle would take the money my father was offering. In one of the weirdest twists I have ever experienced, it surfaces that my dads ex is now visiting my uncle on a regular basis. My dad states that he hopes his family keeps their priorities straight. Well they haven't.
This past weekend there was a "party" to celebrate my uncle turning the corner and having a real place to live and having a full time job, etc. Everyone is invited except for my father. He doesn't even get word of it and neither do any of his kids. My 3 sisters and I are very much a great support system and our dad has been a great role model over the last 14 years. We support each other and thus we let each other know what we hear. We are all kind of baffled as to what has just happened. To top this all off, my ill grandma was having sugar attacks as part of her bout with cancer during this event this weekend. We learned about that yesterday. As you can see this woman that was once with my father has expanded the riff in the family.
My dad couldn't sleep the last 2 nights. He told me that once my grandma is gone (btw Cancer sucks) my other uncle (the one he owns the camp with) will be his only tie to the family. Honestly, I can understand where he is coming from. I just wish I could illustrate how hard it has been over the years for us. I am not sure when we became the black sheep of the family. My cousins are good people but they struggle to get by and there have been plenty of divorces, drug problems, non-work, etc. All I am saying is we have all had our problems and some of my cousins are still struggling. My sisters and I are all living good lives with good jobs. They own houses, have families, enjoy life. I just don't know what happened. I guess when you are willing to open your mouth a little in my family, you are cast off. It may be drastic, but right now I don't plan on attending Thanksgiving dinner (the 19th anniversary of my grandfather's death - I miss you).
Well it seems i have made myself shed some tears. It is all just so hard to grasp.
Thank you for your time.
So I don't normally write things like I am about to on a blog. Of course I am not one of the SGs or a hot girl so I know my blog doesn't get read all that much. This is just something that I wanted to write about to feel a small sense of release.
Let me start this by saying that I wish I could remember all the other incidents and occurrences that have happened over the years to make this story more potent. This has been going on since I was about 12 or 13.
Anyway, my father may have finally felt the straw that broke the camel's back this past weekend. I have to go back to make you understand there. Ever since my father had a drinking problem in the late 80s/ early 90s he has had trouble with his family. They are very different. My aunt's have many philosophical differences from my father and he is very stubborn. I should say that I am not absolving my father of all blame in this complicated situation. He has done some things that add to the tension. However, he cleaned up in '93 and went back to school and provided for his kids, etc. Still he is one of the more outspoken people you will meet.
There have been arguments over family possessions since my grandfather died. One thing that has been in the family, bought by my grandfather, was a camp up in the mountains on north central PA. My uncle and father are the two that made the most use out of that place. When it was willed over to them all the children were having a say about what should be done with it. At the same time my cousins were going up there without the 2 major stakeholders (my uncle and dad) knowing what was happening. They were treating it horribly - leaving trash, burning very unacceptable things, not cleaning anything. The one time I remember finding a used condom on the floor in the bedroom. These are all things that would never happen when my grandfather was alive. Well obviously my father was upset by the misuse and general disrespect of what that camp meant to him. I think that is understandable.
The tension would continue to mount as my grandma would start seeing someone that really wasn't the brightest man ever. My father despised this. He stayed away from holiday gatherings when this new gentleman was present. A couple of my aunts seemed to be okay with it. The problem was that my grandma was going to see him an hour away and blowing all her money on him and dinners and gas, etc. He really didn't do his part in the relationship. He got sick and my grandma started to have to go take care of him. I could never really tell how much my grandma liked this guy or if it was just for companionship.
There were numerous other arguments that I can remember. One in which I grabbed my father and picked him up and walked him out of the situation. He is not a small man. I guess my adrenaline was flowing. It was the first time I heard him say fuck.
To get more to the point of the story, there has been a lot go on in my father's life in the last 2 years. He started seeing someone for the first time in a long long time. Things were good between them for some time. Then my grandma offered to allow him to buy her house off of her. She was falling ill and the house was in need of some major remodeling. My grandma would move in with my aunt. My dad moved to her house and began a remodeling project that is over a year old. They whole house is being refurbished. Shortly after moving, my father was joined by his girlfriend and her 2 daughters, one of which just graduated high school and the other will do that this year. They went in on the house, a new truck, and various other small possessions together. It was a drastic move considering how long he was without a partner. Well that quickly fell apart as his girlfriend grew jealous of the relationship he has with his children. There was a lot of drama and on again off again feelings. Since my father stopped drinking he has put his kids first over all else and she had trouble accepting that. So she moved out and now my father was stuck with more responsibility, fiscally and physically, regarding the circumstance he was just put in. They tried to see each other again not living in the same house. Honestly I think she had some unusual insecurities that made her act oddly in many situations.
As this was happening we learn that my uncle's house has burnt to the ground and he is going to come to live with us. That doesn't last for long as he decides to move into a travel trailer thinking he is infringing on our livelihood. This is not the case and my dad tries to help him out. My uncle is dealing with an alcohol problem as well. Somewhere in there, my aunts and grandma started leaving my dad out of the family loop. There is really no explanation for this. So my uncle is off by himself and my checks on him often. He finally looks to be getting back on his feet after my dad would find minuscule jobs to give him just so my uncle would take the money my father was offering. In one of the weirdest twists I have ever experienced, it surfaces that my dads ex is now visiting my uncle on a regular basis. My dad states that he hopes his family keeps their priorities straight. Well they haven't.
This past weekend there was a "party" to celebrate my uncle turning the corner and having a real place to live and having a full time job, etc. Everyone is invited except for my father. He doesn't even get word of it and neither do any of his kids. My 3 sisters and I are very much a great support system and our dad has been a great role model over the last 14 years. We support each other and thus we let each other know what we hear. We are all kind of baffled as to what has just happened. To top this all off, my ill grandma was having sugar attacks as part of her bout with cancer during this event this weekend. We learned about that yesterday. As you can see this woman that was once with my father has expanded the riff in the family.
My dad couldn't sleep the last 2 nights. He told me that once my grandma is gone (btw Cancer sucks) my other uncle (the one he owns the camp with) will be his only tie to the family. Honestly, I can understand where he is coming from. I just wish I could illustrate how hard it has been over the years for us. I am not sure when we became the black sheep of the family. My cousins are good people but they struggle to get by and there have been plenty of divorces, drug problems, non-work, etc. All I am saying is we have all had our problems and some of my cousins are still struggling. My sisters and I are all living good lives with good jobs. They own houses, have families, enjoy life. I just don't know what happened. I guess when you are willing to open your mouth a little in my family, you are cast off. It may be drastic, but right now I don't plan on attending Thanksgiving dinner (the 19th anniversary of my grandfather's death - I miss you).
Well it seems i have made myself shed some tears. It is all just so hard to grasp.
Thank you for your time.