aquemini03

• Find someone to keep me happy all the time.
• Get over my insecurities.
• Know who my true friends will be for the rest of my life.
• Travel to Europe and across the States.
• Quit worrying about money.
• Help my family manually, monetarily, etc.
• Be able to go to the gym with regularity.
• Eat better.
• Build a house more friendly to the environment.
• To always have the mentality to try anything once.
• Give back to my college.
• Earn my doctorate.
• Be emotional when necessary.
• Witness the Pirates winning a world series (Ok so I have no control on this one)
• Take up new hobbies (photography, piano, etc.)
• Finish my book or start a new one and see it through
• Remodel the family camp.

Well so that is no where near complete.


So did you ever think that you had a special saying or something like that with a friend that was only for you two? Then you come to find out that it is said to a lot of people and there are a lot of people you don't know about in that person's life. Also, there is a bunch of texting and laughing and giggling when it is done. Yet you thought you were good friends. How would you feel? You know I used to text a lot when making a special trip to visit my one grad. school friend and she finally told me she hated it. I know what she means now. I never should have texted so much. Maybe I am overreacting.

I just hate when I think I have identified a friend and there is so much you don't know. So many years I have spent trying to figure out who to keep near me and yet they always seem to change (sometimes for the better) making it difficult to be friends with them or they just never return the effort to be your friend.

Hell, I know I have a problem in most people's eyes because I am generally not a social person. I remember being more social when I was in my late teen years and I would get shot down for dances at clubs and my group of friends would end up hooking up when we went out. I would go with the impression that we were a group, not individuals. Then I would be friends with people for years and just because i moved away to go to college or for a job they didn't have the time to return an email. I pretty much stopped being social then. Someone said they were more social and just gave people compliments and they made friends. This person was a girl. I told her that half the guys she complimented probably instantly thought they could get into her pants so that is why they appeared as friends. I don't think compliments will get me anywhere. Then again I don't know that I really care to be social. This is becoming a run on sentence with no meaning.

Edit 2/27: I didn't mean this as not having confidence or looking bad upon myself. It was more about me not really wanting to be social all the time like some other people and how those people can be viewed by others. I know how I am and I like it. I don't think attempting to make friends all the time is worth it. The spoiler was also about something that happened to me. Someone commented on my fauxhawk as if someone with that hair do cannot be an introvert. I was just surprised that my hair style was stereotyped. Our society doesn't allow you to keep friends, but I try. Thats all you can do.