A thousand appologies! 
I get in these dark moods and have very little to kick me out of where I am at.
I hate to make my problems other peoples problems, and that is exactly what I have been doing.
I will abstain from making such posts from now on.
Again I am sorry.
On a different note...
I will have pictures of my tat soon, I just forgot to get batteries and rechargable batteries voltage are too low: my camera thinks they are empty when they arn't.
Also, a girl who is friends of one of my roomates came to visit. She had two dates with 19 year old men (boys) in the span of two days, and in the meantime she started to show designs on me. shw is only in town for 1 week and leaves on monday.
Being a lonely guy I recripricated to this beauty. She is very honest and told me that she is dating younger men cause they dote on her without much effort on her part and that she is afraid of commiting herself to anyone. One night, knowing full well that she was going on another date the next day, I kissed her and it eventuall led to sex. Sadly as a result of my depression and thusly lack of libido my perfomance over the three acts was not what I had hoped, though it could have been worse. She is just too hot, more attractive then anything that has come my way before. I couldn't handle it: 0 to 60 way too fast.
What made me really sad is that I thought I could handle it, thoght I could handle just sex. Instead when she brought the next guy to a little party we threw after the opening for group show that contained my piece I got really sad. I still had fun at points in the night but in the end I ended up dancing with my shadow to industrial/goth music in my bat cave alone till 3. Then watched some of princess bride and tried to cry.
Yes, I am a 13 year old girl.
I cannot cry except under certan conditions. I can only cry for mistakes I make that hurt other people. I can never cry for myself.
To end on a funny note I paid one of my drunk roomates 15 cents to slap me in the face cause I was getting sleepy. I immediatley felt bad becasue after she hit me she felt sorry, which made me sorry. It was all just for fun. I have never really be slaped and I wanted to see how it felt! She gave me the 15 cents back.
Am I a sissy cause I cannot be in control of myself to have casual sex and not want more, or at least be comfortable at seeing other men with the casual sex-ee?
Again, I am sorry for the previous post. 
The text is latin: Extrimsecus.
The prefix is derived from exter which means without as in external. The suffix is from sequi which means to follow as in sequence. That which comes from without. That which ceoms from the external. Also the tat is on my left arm which in latin is sinestra or sinister...
My left side has always been the side I punish.
I traced my veins in my arm. We (the tatto artist and I) made up some veins where we couldn't find any, but most are accurate.
I get in these dark moods and have very little to kick me out of where I am at.
I hate to make my problems other peoples problems, and that is exactly what I have been doing.
I will abstain from making such posts from now on.
Again I am sorry.
On a different note...
I will have pictures of my tat soon, I just forgot to get batteries and rechargable batteries voltage are too low: my camera thinks they are empty when they arn't.
Also, a girl who is friends of one of my roomates came to visit. She had two dates with 19 year old men (boys) in the span of two days, and in the meantime she started to show designs on me. shw is only in town for 1 week and leaves on monday.
Being a lonely guy I recripricated to this beauty. She is very honest and told me that she is dating younger men cause they dote on her without much effort on her part and that she is afraid of commiting herself to anyone. One night, knowing full well that she was going on another date the next day, I kissed her and it eventuall led to sex. Sadly as a result of my depression and thusly lack of libido my perfomance over the three acts was not what I had hoped, though it could have been worse. She is just too hot, more attractive then anything that has come my way before. I couldn't handle it: 0 to 60 way too fast.
What made me really sad is that I thought I could handle it, thoght I could handle just sex. Instead when she brought the next guy to a little party we threw after the opening for group show that contained my piece I got really sad. I still had fun at points in the night but in the end I ended up dancing with my shadow to industrial/goth music in my bat cave alone till 3. Then watched some of princess bride and tried to cry.
Yes, I am a 13 year old girl.
I cannot cry except under certan conditions. I can only cry for mistakes I make that hurt other people. I can never cry for myself.
To end on a funny note I paid one of my drunk roomates 15 cents to slap me in the face cause I was getting sleepy. I immediatley felt bad becasue after she hit me she felt sorry, which made me sorry. It was all just for fun. I have never really be slaped and I wanted to see how it felt! She gave me the 15 cents back.
Am I a sissy cause I cannot be in control of myself to have casual sex and not want more, or at least be comfortable at seeing other men with the casual sex-ee?
Again, I am sorry for the previous post.
The text is latin: Extrimsecus.
The prefix is derived from exter which means without as in external. The suffix is from sequi which means to follow as in sequence. That which comes from without. That which ceoms from the external. Also the tat is on my left arm which in latin is sinestra or sinister...
My left side has always been the side I punish.
I traced my veins in my arm. We (the tatto artist and I) made up some veins where we couldn't find any, but most are accurate.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
But i really hope you try to take to heart the things I say to you.
I know what it's like to be depressed. I'm not going to say I know how you feel cause everything effects people in different ways, there is no knowing how you fee, but I can empathize. I don't know the exact name (stoned at the moment) but I have like bipolar on crack, I can change from day to day sometimes hour to hour not month to month or season to season. but I've learned to live and function with it. it's possible I tell you it's really really possible. Your reading the words of someone who first tried to kill themself at the age of 7. yes 7. it's easy to be drpressed, it's easy to fall down the hole. But after a while it doesn't take long to learn to fight it.
I've had a HARD life, (i'm thinking of writing a book, HA!) I've seen and learned a lot, and I like to share that with people I feel I can relate to. If you want to listen to the advice, I'll give it, if not, then let me know. but it's possible i tell you to learn to fight depression, drag yourself out of it. you have to consciously change the way you think. Meds and therapy with a GOOD doc can help. Maybe talking to someone who can relate.
Chin up again, and don't harbor over that girl harobr yourself. you're the one you should worry about impressing, once you think you're a cool guy so will all the chickies.
[Edited on Jan 16, 2005 1:07AM]
neat tattoo idea.