I went to a strip club tonight. (merry x-mass! 
Its what us lonely people do I guess.)
I was/am drunk of couse, as were I otherwise I would have remembered how much of a money drain and emotional drain they are.
I talked to a girl there I have seen there before, and that I like (yes, I have been there before, how else would I have gained the knowledge described above?) because she plays good music when she dances and she has many qualities I would like to see in myself. I have now compleated the fooling of myself into believeing that there exists some people who find some interest in me. I know this sounds like a pity party, but I truely dont believe that there could be people who are interested in what I have to say. That is part of my suffering I guess.
My question to you is: What is your opinion of the commodification of womens bodies, and what of the women who are inhabiting thoes bodies?
I left her there. She sought me out among all the other people there. I remarked that she usually has better music playing and she seemed to make a connection with me and made specia effort to find me. Its so hard when i fool myself into believing that there is still a chance for me with these people that surround me.
Its so dangerous to give up on this suicide plan; letting some one in will only hurt me like the last round of foolishness I allowed myself to engage in.
I'm sorry to plop this on you so soon after what I imagine to be a joyus day for all of you, but it helps to get it out there I guess.
Or so it seems at 1:30 am with cheezy goth music playing...
Its what us lonely people do I guess.)
I was/am drunk of couse, as were I otherwise I would have remembered how much of a money drain and emotional drain they are.
I talked to a girl there I have seen there before, and that I like (yes, I have been there before, how else would I have gained the knowledge described above?) because she plays good music when she dances and she has many qualities I would like to see in myself. I have now compleated the fooling of myself into believeing that there exists some people who find some interest in me. I know this sounds like a pity party, but I truely dont believe that there could be people who are interested in what I have to say. That is part of my suffering I guess.
My question to you is: What is your opinion of the commodification of womens bodies, and what of the women who are inhabiting thoes bodies?
I left her there. She sought me out among all the other people there. I remarked that she usually has better music playing and she seemed to make a connection with me and made specia effort to find me. Its so hard when i fool myself into believing that there is still a chance for me with these people that surround me.
Its so dangerous to give up on this suicide plan; letting some one in will only hurt me like the last round of foolishness I allowed myself to engage in.
I'm sorry to plop this on you so soon after what I imagine to be a joyus day for all of you, but it helps to get it out there I guess.
Or so it seems at 1:30 am with cheezy goth music playing...
i think you're beautiful with a creative mind...i'm sure other people see that too. you're in a slump right now...go make something. that always helps me...to see the product of my creativity. creation makes my existance worthwhile.
*Hugz*
(winnie the pooh in the background)
I find you very interesting, witty, and super talented. I don't think you should worry about the female race too much. I find that the majority of us give the rest of us a bad rep. We all fall in and out of love, it's just one of the dard knocks of life yanno? You just have to keep believing in yourself, that you ARE special, and you will find someone that makes you happy, and more importantly, you make happy as well.
Season's Greetings Hotpants! May the new year bring you joy...
[Edited on Dec 25, 2004 7:55PM]