The one potentially good thing about me is I like to help people and donate to them. The problem has always been that I am very poor, my whole family is poor and I also have very poor health. Just because I don't care about myself I've been know to gift, donate and help far beyond my means which is really technically zero, but I do it largely because I enjoy it and because I feel it is the only way I might ever redeem myself for who I am. I've only really had two people help me financially who honestly can't afford to do it as is. So even thought I don't care about myself, the more I give, the more I take from them even if it's involuntarily so.
I have the best paying job I've ever had, which is only $13 an hour and I'm struggling to keep it due to health. That pay would be fine if I didn't inherit debt from my father, have all these health expenses, student loans and debt from when I couldn't find a job for over two years...
Not sure what to do because if I can't help people...well then there's really nothing for me. Honestly, even if I just focused on myself and bills, I don't see myself overcoming them with how things are. I've yet to enjoy or experience anything in life, and if I have to wait until my 60's or later to try and do so I see no point in that, and I likely won't make it that far. I wish I could work from home or have a flexible schedule with a job I could handle but those are so rare and even more so where I live and with all the skills I lack.
Sigh...