I foresee things going very badly.

That's going to be the title of this journal entry. If this were LiveJournal, that would be in bold across the top of the page. Here's the story so far:

I have a wonderful best friend. She is the closest thing to a little sister that I have, and we share everything. We haven't been as close lately, so it was great to have a good heart-to-heart last night, get a lot off our chests. That's awesome. What is decidedly not awesome is that we also had the opportunity to compare notes on a certain pair of our friends who happen to be dating. One is my roommate and my other best friend, one is her roommate and her other best friend.

These two, up to this point, have just been mildly annoying. We love them dearly, but they're the kind of couple that the world goes away when they're together and they can't talk about anything but each other when they're apart. Cute, relatively harmless, whatever. But we realized last night that he is the easiest person to change that we know, and that her hobby is trying to change people. He is very eager to please, and she will eat that up. He is also very jealous, but not because he is actually jealous, but because he thinks a good boyfriend is supposed to be jealous and threaten with violence any other guy that looks at her funny (despite the fact that we all know he's never been in a fight in his life). She likes to flirt shamelessly when he's not there and then tease him by casually mentioning it and acting like it is nothing.

But none of those are the real issue. He will never, ever, under any circumstance, no matter how shitty she is to him, break up with her. It's not in his nature. He doesn't get to be the martyr if he is the one who does the dumping. This is an extremely powerful bit of information to wield about one's significant other. Speaking from personal experience, you do not want to know that you can get away with doing anything to them, because it trips some malicious switch in your brain that makes you start wanting to find out what all you can get away with. All three of these people (we've all been good friends for a long time before these two got together) saw what happened when I found that out about my last girlfriend, and they all got burned because we're all so close. If this goes up in flames, it will be a towering inferno with me and my best friend at the epicenter.

Have you ever seen the movie The Shape of Things? It's a really quite brilliant relationship movie with a hell of a twist ending. Go rent it. That is how we think this is going to go down. Not that his girlfriend is cruel, but after what happened before, we all believe that even the kindest person has that capacity for cruelty if the situation dictates it.

I foresee this going very badly.