Cue : background music
I woke up. Too early.
I've seen many sunrises in my lifetime, which is an accomplishment, because I'm not a morning person. I am strictly anti-morning. In my mind, I equate rising early in the morning with travelling.
The thought of travelling makes me... ah, what's the word I'm looking for; pensive?
A while back, for no particular reason, I turned on IM. I only have two "buddies" on IM. We're all recluses, but I'm the most mysterious of all. I'm seldom seen in the daylight. I rarely answer the phone. Not un-coincidentally, no one I know rarely calls. It's a beautiful arrangement, actually.
So anyway, I saw my friend LR online and sent him a what's up. After a few minutes of requisite chit-chat, he let it slip that his father had passed away in May. This was somewhat of a shock, but not terribly surprising. The Old Man excelled at abusing himself mentally, physically and emotionally all of his life. And he shared the misery. It was his mission. He was the epitome of the term "White Devil".
Out of respect for my friend, I won't recount his father's numerous misdeeds in public.
The story LR told me of his fathers' passing had the most incredibly dramatic conclusion I think I've heard in many many years. The Old Man, hospitalized for some sort of colon malady, ended up having most of his colon removed. After an extended stay in the hospital, it became apparent he would never leave and his time was short. The suffering must have been epic.
I can tell you from experience, when you're staring Death in the eye, ALL the bullshit that accompanies this state of being, this existence, disappears. If you have the unfortunate opportunity of dying in the hospital, make sure they turn off the machiine that beeps along to your heartbeat. It's a drag listening to it speed up or slow down as you bite it.
LR had a good talk with his Old Man, and when the Doc came in with the megadose syringe of morphine to put him down, LR held his hand and looked into his eyes and saw him fade.
I suppose that was a good way to die. I think about this. You hear about supposedly "bad" people dying almost on a daily basis. When it happens to someone you know personally, when it happens to someone you know in a situation you have intimate experience with... you tend not to want to judge.
LR's father never gave me any good advice.
Come to think of it, my own father never gave me any good advice.
The one memory of LR's father that will always stay with me was the time I went over to his house with LR and partied with him. This was a semi-regular thing, but this time was particularly unpleasant. The Old Man was already three sheets to the wind when we got there, and it didn't take much to render him down for the count.
He overturned some furniture, and babbled incoherently; bestowing on us some crazy philosophy that no one but him could understand. When he quieted down, I reached over and passed my hand in front of his open eyes, making the universal "is anybody home?" gesture. He was dead to the world. I've recognized that look in many peoples' eyes many times since.
I looked him in the eyes and saw null and void.
I woke up. Too early.
I've seen many sunrises in my lifetime, which is an accomplishment, because I'm not a morning person. I am strictly anti-morning. In my mind, I equate rising early in the morning with travelling.
The thought of travelling makes me... ah, what's the word I'm looking for; pensive?
A while back, for no particular reason, I turned on IM. I only have two "buddies" on IM. We're all recluses, but I'm the most mysterious of all. I'm seldom seen in the daylight. I rarely answer the phone. Not un-coincidentally, no one I know rarely calls. It's a beautiful arrangement, actually.
So anyway, I saw my friend LR online and sent him a what's up. After a few minutes of requisite chit-chat, he let it slip that his father had passed away in May. This was somewhat of a shock, but not terribly surprising. The Old Man excelled at abusing himself mentally, physically and emotionally all of his life. And he shared the misery. It was his mission. He was the epitome of the term "White Devil".
Out of respect for my friend, I won't recount his father's numerous misdeeds in public.
The story LR told me of his fathers' passing had the most incredibly dramatic conclusion I think I've heard in many many years. The Old Man, hospitalized for some sort of colon malady, ended up having most of his colon removed. After an extended stay in the hospital, it became apparent he would never leave and his time was short. The suffering must have been epic.
I can tell you from experience, when you're staring Death in the eye, ALL the bullshit that accompanies this state of being, this existence, disappears. If you have the unfortunate opportunity of dying in the hospital, make sure they turn off the machiine that beeps along to your heartbeat. It's a drag listening to it speed up or slow down as you bite it.
LR had a good talk with his Old Man, and when the Doc came in with the megadose syringe of morphine to put him down, LR held his hand and looked into his eyes and saw him fade.
I suppose that was a good way to die. I think about this. You hear about supposedly "bad" people dying almost on a daily basis. When it happens to someone you know personally, when it happens to someone you know in a situation you have intimate experience with... you tend not to want to judge.
LR's father never gave me any good advice.
Come to think of it, my own father never gave me any good advice.
The one memory of LR's father that will always stay with me was the time I went over to his house with LR and partied with him. This was a semi-regular thing, but this time was particularly unpleasant. The Old Man was already three sheets to the wind when we got there, and it didn't take much to render him down for the count.
He overturned some furniture, and babbled incoherently; bestowing on us some crazy philosophy that no one but him could understand. When he quieted down, I reached over and passed my hand in front of his open eyes, making the universal "is anybody home?" gesture. He was dead to the world. I've recognized that look in many peoples' eyes many times since.
I looked him in the eyes and saw null and void.
vrulovwrath:
Waking up early almost never turns out to be good 