ah. it be tuesday night. arrr..
(pirate impression)
anyway. update time. if any one cares. went up to syracuse this weekend for drill. busted my ass. im not out of shape, but i definately need to be in better shape when i goto florida next month. holy crap. i go next month. wish it was tomorrow. oh well. i guess i can wait abit longer. planning a trip to california to see my sister(exinlaw) with her mother as well. should be fun. perhaps we will goto vegas or something.
emotionaly im still a bat i think. some days are fine. life is a little under peachy but not horrible i guess. some days are hard as hell. some days i totally miss my ex to the point that i wish i could call her up to just hear her voice... but i dont. some days i still curse her name and the knife still feels like it is imbedded in my heart. sometimes i go through days where i feel both of the above at the same time. im on medication, and i think that and the "therapy" i goto are keeping me somewhat sane. i havent been uber deppressed in about 3-4 weeks which is good i guess. i havent been happy, but im no longer to the point of contemplating blowing my head off, so i guess thats cool. im trying not to think anymore. well, im trying not to think of things that i used to. its hard though, trying to change your thought pattern. i think im too idealistic at times. i wish i could be a cynical ass. and i am at times. just not as much as i wish i could be. oh well. now im just rambling.
tomorrow i have a busy day. my weekly appointment in the afternoon. coffee with my friend, (as long as she doesnt blow me off like she usually does..). my other friend is back from costa rica tomorrow and i am going to hang out wih him. i also have my class tomorrow at 8. busy. which is good.
i believe in karma. and im wondering what the hell i may have done to bring such negative energy my way in this lifetime. oh well. i did pick up a new cd though. solex. happy weird ass techno pop. soothes the savage soul.
(pirate impression)
anyway. update time. if any one cares. went up to syracuse this weekend for drill. busted my ass. im not out of shape, but i definately need to be in better shape when i goto florida next month. holy crap. i go next month. wish it was tomorrow. oh well. i guess i can wait abit longer. planning a trip to california to see my sister(exinlaw) with her mother as well. should be fun. perhaps we will goto vegas or something.
emotionaly im still a bat i think. some days are fine. life is a little under peachy but not horrible i guess. some days are hard as hell. some days i totally miss my ex to the point that i wish i could call her up to just hear her voice... but i dont. some days i still curse her name and the knife still feels like it is imbedded in my heart. sometimes i go through days where i feel both of the above at the same time. im on medication, and i think that and the "therapy" i goto are keeping me somewhat sane. i havent been uber deppressed in about 3-4 weeks which is good i guess. i havent been happy, but im no longer to the point of contemplating blowing my head off, so i guess thats cool. im trying not to think anymore. well, im trying not to think of things that i used to. its hard though, trying to change your thought pattern. i think im too idealistic at times. i wish i could be a cynical ass. and i am at times. just not as much as i wish i could be. oh well. now im just rambling.
tomorrow i have a busy day. my weekly appointment in the afternoon. coffee with my friend, (as long as she doesnt blow me off like she usually does..). my other friend is back from costa rica tomorrow and i am going to hang out wih him. i also have my class tomorrow at 8. busy. which is good.
i believe in karma. and im wondering what the hell i may have done to bring such negative energy my way in this lifetime. oh well. i did pick up a new cd though. solex. happy weird ass techno pop. soothes the savage soul.
chex314:
Man, it sounds like you need to get out of CT!
liv3:
i haven't heard from you in awhile.. wondered how you were.