Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

apontes29

newington

Member Since 2004

Followers 3 Following 3

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday Jun 07, 2004

Jun 7, 2004
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
why is god intent on making me wish i was dead?....

not that i believe in god...its just great to blame something for all the shit in my world.

ive been trying to forget about the woman i love..........ive been trying to pretend she never existed. and she fucking emails me today like she never ripped my heart out and shot it with a shotgun some months back....i still wake up at night and it feels like a knife is protruding from my chest........like all that is good and pure in the world is nothing but rot and stench. im trying to carry on and get myself back into the adult world and it has been hard. harder than anything i could have ever imagined. and ive gotten to the point where my defenses are back up, where i can keep my wrecked emotions on the inside where they wont interfare with my daily interactions with other human beings.....and right now it feels like it has all been ripped apart. like my heart has been smashed and destroyed again....i just did some shots of hard liquor and tried not to think about jumping off a bridge or something.........i didnt need her to do this to me today...i didnt need her to talk to me.......im a fucking wreck right now...and im trying so hard not to cry because she isnt worth crying over anymore......yeah right....i was doing better.........i was getting to a point where i could go a couple of days and not think of her....and now she is right there on the front burner again........fuck....i gave that woman my heart and soul........and she promised me hers.........and then she fucking dumped my ass in an email.........what the fuck is wrong with me........why do i even care still?...........
at least the tequila and vodka is starting to kick in..........im going to be a fucking drunk soon enough....whatever.......i dont care anymore

More Blogs

  • 07.06.04
    0

    Tuesday Jul 06, 2004

    ........i dont reccomend drinking 17 shots in two hours..... it makes…
  • 07.04.04
    0

    Sunday Jul 04, 2004

    the fourth of july........woohoo............. im finally working....…
  • 07.03.04
    0

    Saturday Jul 03, 2004

    so i dreamed i was dead......... i woke up anyway.................. …
  • 07.02.04
    3

    Friday Jul 02, 2004

    ..........insomnia sucks............. ..........depression sucks....…
  • 07.01.04
    0

    Thursday Jul 01, 2004

    going to go get drunk tonight..........feels like im falling ever dow…
  • 06.30.04
    1

    Wednesday Jun 30, 2004

    im not an angry person generally.....a tad bit negative....but a nice…
  • 06.28.04
    0

    Tuesday Jun 29, 2004

    .......6 am. lovely. stayed up all night and my friend gave me a sl…
  • 06.27.04
    0

    Monday Jun 28, 2004

    .........ow. my head hurts. to recap today.... i dont sleep at night.…
  • 06.26.04
    3

    Saturday Jun 26, 2004

    huh...........so i got a job...yeah!.....im going to cook at chilis..…
  • 06.25.04
    0

    Friday Jun 25, 2004

    friday night........... i actually went out...well no, i went over t…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
10
months
7
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,598 SuicideGirls
  • 1,116,465 followers
  • 14,938,177 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,438,131 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo