the fourth of july........woohoo.............
im finally working........it will be nice to have money.......my checking account is hovering near zero.......my savings is under......eek..............the past week has been a nightmare.........but then, so has the past year..........i wish i could just even out and not be affected by everything............actually slept alot last night into the morning.........woke up and everything hit me again........grrr....not fun......oh well right? sure.................my brother bought...
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im finally working........it will be nice to have money.......my checking account is hovering near zero.......my savings is under......eek..............the past week has been a nightmare.........but then, so has the past year..........i wish i could just even out and not be affected by everything............actually slept alot last night into the morning.........woke up and everything hit me again........grrr....not fun......oh well right? sure.................my brother bought...
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so i dreamed i was dead.........
i woke up anyway..................
i dont know where im going....
but i seem to be stuck in the same place ive always been.....................
i forgot what i wanted.............
i dont remember how to hope..
this place is so damn constricting....
i just want to breathe.............
i just want to breathe without thinking
i woke up anyway..................
i dont know where im going....
but i seem to be stuck in the same place ive always been.....................
i forgot what i wanted.............
i dont remember how to hope..
this place is so damn constricting....
i just want to breathe.............
i just want to breathe without thinking
..........insomnia sucks.............
..........depression sucks.............
...........divorce sucks.................
i have insomnia, im horribly depressed and im officialy divorced now..................................
im trying desperately to not think of driving my car into a telephone pole....
i guess im a little dramatic no?
..........depression sucks.............
...........divorce sucks.................
i have insomnia, im horribly depressed and im officialy divorced now..................................
im trying desperately to not think of driving my car into a telephone pole....
i guess im a little dramatic no?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
apontes29:
dont worry..........i havent yet and i probably wont......thanks though...the cat on your post is cute.
williamtrinity:
keep strong...everything well be alright as long as you keep strong
going to go get drunk tonight..........feels like im falling ever downward....
if you dont have garbage's very rare trance mix of milk then what are you waiting for.......go.........
.....sigh.......
if you dont have garbage's very rare trance mix of milk then what are you waiting for.......go.........
.....sigh.......
im not an angry person generally.....a tad bit negative....but a nice person....i like to think anyway...i believe in karma for the most part, and i like being nice to people.....it makes me feel good i think...
......but everytime i think of her i feel so burned and hatefull.....i wish death upon the whole damn world....i think of her and i get ill........not because of her,...
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......but everytime i think of her i feel so burned and hatefull.....i wish death upon the whole damn world....i think of her and i get ill........not because of her,...
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luckysuicide:
awh don't be depressed...bitches suck like that....i can beat her up if you would like.
.......6 am. lovely. stayed up all night and my friend gave me a sleeping pill of somewhat at around 2 or 3....didnt work obviously. i watched cheaper by the dozen last night....and before that i watched moores new movie....it was a pretty good movie....i dislike bush even more than yesterday...and i really didnt like him yesterday...im so dissiliousioned with politics in general...kerry wont do a...
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.........ow. my head hurts. to recap today.... i dont sleep at night. i got a job, i start thursday....i had a dream that my ex and i got back together... then i woke up and was sad....so i went back to sleep and proceeded to sleep the actual day away...woke up sometime around 7 in the evening...showered and went to chilis to visit alexandria....came home...
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huh...........so i got a job...yeah!.....im going to cook at chilis......just what i always wanted......to be back in the food service industry...i guess i shouldnt complain though, its a job and it will pay actually money.....maybe my bills will start to be paid on time......maybe not...
......went for breakfast with my seattle friend alex, then we went to the bookstore and wandered for an hour or...
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......went for breakfast with my seattle friend alex, then we went to the bookstore and wandered for an hour or... Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
apontes29:
the funny thing is i think i have only eaten at chilis once....i dont even know what they have......( i thought that was funny anyway....)......ive never been to maguires.....you will have to let me know the next time you come up.....hope you figure out what hair color you want....
metier_catwoman:
She is so compelling isnt she?...one day she will meet me and oh yes she will be mine...she will be mine(WW) 
tractorbeam
tractorbeam
friday night........... i actually went out...well no, i went over to my friends house and watched movies, but thats better than staying at home being a creature of the darkness right?.....right..........so after court on tuesday ive been a lazy lethargic sob.....ive been sleeping and just not carring much.....didnt shower for 3 days. whoohoo.........(i finally did shower today)......i suppose i should snap out of it and...
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............grgle........
what a world........my divorce wasnt granted. i have to go back to court in two weeks. grgle........ i still have no job.....my car almost conked out on me.......ive been slacking off on working out the past two days......ive slept more than a person with mono..(which ive always wanted for some strange reason).... i did learn how to drive stick though.......thought i would drop the...
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what a world........my divorce wasnt granted. i have to go back to court in two weeks. grgle........ i still have no job.....my car almost conked out on me.......ive been slacking off on working out the past two days......ive slept more than a person with mono..(which ive always wanted for some strange reason).... i did learn how to drive stick though.......thought i would drop the...
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karebeer:
yea. im definately NOT having a very positive day today either.. got 3 fuckin hrs of sleep all because i was up til 4am arguing w/the man who "will marry me one day".. all over "meaningless sex & my misunderstanding of the term "settle down".... and then BRITE and early (7am) i had drive 20mins in traffic just to say goodbye to my sister whos going to italy for 2 weeks. ill miss her. but i sure wouldnt mind missing the aim away messages from HIM. "A new era has officially begun. An era where I only care about me! And it feels pretty damn good!" yea. doesnt THAT fuckin blow. obviously our 2 hr convo didnt do shit, but screwed things up even worse... i HATE love. ya kno? 
obviously our 2 hr convo didnt do shit, but screwed things up even worse... i HATE love. ya kno? tuesday morning..........my head hurts............im tired.........all i want to do is get my ass kicked to a bloody pulp........so i can sleep forever.....and not think or care or worry or love or hate....my profile picture is blurred....thats how i feel.....all blurred, like i dont even know who i am... my court date is in hours.....then i will be officially divorced.......woohoo........ive stopped carring..........probably so i wont hurt........instead...
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karebeer:
love & lack of love both blow serious ass.
cheer up hun.. you arent alone... i @ least can promise that.
xox
*~Karen~*
love & lack of love both blow serious ass.
cheer up hun.. you arent alone... i @ least can promise that.
xox
*~Karen~*
apontes29:
thanks...........life is certainly interesting.
........its saturday night..............in the past two days ive gone through 600 bucks........got my car registered........saw dodgeball........worked out insanely.........called a friend i havent talked to in awhile........ran into a friend i havent seen in about 5 years.....went to a stripclub (with my ex-mother in law) for the first time to see two friends....and then went drinking with my brother at his underage friends house........ive also slept...
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