aponia

I'm off anti-depressants for the time being. The Zoloft was having weird effects suddenly so i'm only on one med, and its for bipolar. I can feel the difference already. I'm moody and easily annoyed. I've been snapping at everyone. And, the most noticable part is I've been depressed, i'm just miserable. I hate myself, I hate doing anything, I hate everything. So don't mind me if i'm a little off. I just have to deal until I can go to the doctors in august.

This is one of those times i just wish I had a brain that worked like everyone elses.

I watched Blade Runner last night. I love this movie. I remember that Sean Young was the first celebrity girl crush I ever had. I wanted her so badly. Just seeing her with her hair down and that vulnerable look on her face...it makes me weak in the knees. And mind you, I first saw this when I was much younger, and I had the same feelings then that I have now. I always wanted a girl that looked like that.

I've been out for awhile. I realized I was attracted to girls when I was in grade school. I came out to my mom and sister in high school. I've been bisexual almost all of my life. It bothers me when people dismiss it. I especially get upset when its a gay person that dismisses it. Where is the sense of community in that? Why would someone choose to be something othen then normal for fun? I've had alot of annoying conversations with men and women concerning this subject. It just irks me at how narrowminded people can be.
But then, I also hate the girls who screw around with other girls for fun, or because it seems like something edgey to do. They seem to be ruining it for the rest of us.

I need to get off of my soap box.

Making headway on my sweaters. I've told my knitting circle that I plan on getting them done by September. I'm sure they will keep me on track. No mittens, scarves, shawls, or shrugs until i'm done.

Didn't play WoW last night, heck, I barely had time to check my email. I came home from knitting circle, watched a movie, knit, went to bed. Oh, and I ate vegan hot dogs....sooooo good.

I have so much work to do today. I'm afraid to dive in. Its just going to drive me batty. A girl takes off 3 days out of the blue and my workload increases threefold...how is that fair?

I need a vacation. I was dreaming of mountains and forests. What I wouldn't give to go out to Oregon or California or Washington for a little while. Just to get away from here.

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I just went on Philadelphia University's website....I've decided that I am meant to be a textile designer. Those careers offer everything I want to do.

Its like an epiphany.

Thats what I want to do, right there. I want to start working torwards that goal today!