aponia

I'm sorry if I'm not answering my comments as often as usual.
I just don't feel much like talking. I don't want to hear my voice, I don't want to tell the same stories, I don't want to feel like i'm on this constant hamster wheel.

I don't want to neglect all of you, you all mean so much to me. Its just easier to say things here, so I don't have to repeat myself. I almost don't want to call my mom because I just don't want to talk, and I don't want all of the drama to be right in my face....
Does that make me horrible? For wanting to get away from it?

The kind words really help. I want to be able to sit down and just say everything to everyone, but the thought of getting into conversations right now makes me queasy.

I hate feeling so anti-social.

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My mom is in the hospital, weak, and on oxygen because she was having trouble breathing. I want more then anything to cry but I can't.
I'm not ready....I can't handle this now...My life is so fucked up, I don't need this....I need everything to slow down and stop...My psych doctor even asked me if I was ready for the inevitable and I said i don't know...but i'm not....I'm obviously not.