aponia

Again, I can't say it enough, thank you for the love and support.

My mom called me this morning to tell me she was in a better mood and that she's ok. She wanted to make sure that I was ok and I knew she was ok. After reading everyones post, it is a waste of energy if I'm just upset all the time. I should focus on being happy with her instead. Every moment counts, and I want her to be as positive and loved and happy as she can be.

So I'm not crying this morning. Which thankfully gives the skin around my eyes and cheeks a break. The bags under my eyes are horrible though.

Last night I went to see Bruce Campbell speak and sign autographs at the Free Library of Philadelphia. He is hilarious. I've seen and met him before. I got both of his books signed and I got to talk to him about Oregon. It was great. A picture will be posted tonight. We got home so late last night Apocalypse_Dude didn't have a chance to load them. Well, late as in 10pm, which is late for us.
I was a totally fawning fangirl. I was nervous and giddy. I am such a huge dork!

I tried to go without iced coffee today. Couldn't be done. I bought pineapple chunks thinking the sugar would jump start my sleepy head...nope. Only coffee.

I'm trying to write a positive post, since my last two were very sad. I'm still upset, its always there, in the back of my head. If I sit down without something to do, its all I focus on. I start crying uncontrolablely. So I smoke or knit or walk around or watch tv, just so I'm not alone with my thoughts. And you would think after years of dealing with my moms illness it would be easier, but its not.

Again, thanks guys.

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I'm so fucking pissed.
This is the email i received today from my manager, with my original email underneath it:

"OK, thanks for letting me know. Glad to hear that your mom is doing relatively well. Please try your best to schedule your time off around when other people are out on vacation. This is especially true in July.

Thanks"

At 04:16 PM 6/20/2005 -0400, you wrote:

Hey,

My mom really is not doing very well. She's home from the hospital but she's still extremely sick. I might need some time off later this week. I want to go home a day and spend some time with her. Maybe take care of her a bit so my dad has a chance to go out. He's taking care of her everyday and I think he needs sometime out of the house too. I'm not sure what's happening, her situation has gotten much worse then it was a few weeks ago. I'll keep you guys updated on what's happening. I'm sorry I can't give you a more concrete schedule.

Thanks!"

WTF??????
I have to schedule my visits home with fucking vacation???
And...there's like one week in the whole month when people are going to be here.
FUCK YOU WORK!!!!!