My mom just passed away.
Her heart stopped, they tried to revive her, but it didn't work.
Before it happened, my dad told me, she was in and out of consciousness. She wasn't really aware of anything going on.
I'm hoping that she went when she was out of it, semi-asleep, without pain.
After a 25 year battle with various cancers, its finally over and she's finally at peace.
I haven't been home in 3 weeks, I was hoping to go home and spend the whole day there tommorrow. I haven't really talked to her in 3 days, she had been sick so I wasn't calling her, because I knew she didn't feel well.
Shaking uncontrolablely is a really weird thing. I can't stop. I'm not cold, but I feel like all my insides are twitching.
I feel like everything I had is just crashing down around me. And its kind of ironic, that all I want to do, more then anything else, is to call my mom and talk to her, and have her tell me that everything is ok and that she loves me.
How am I supposed to live the rest of my life without that?
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I went to the funeral home today with my sister and dad. We planned everything. Her viewing is Friday and her funeral mass is on Saturday morning. My dad was concerned I would be upset it was on my birthday, but i'm not. She's going to be cremated, so there will not be a burial. She's going to be put into 4 urns, for the people closest to her (me, my dad, my sister, and my cousin who was like a daughter to her). I picked out my urn, its copper with cloistonne flowers painted on in blues. I think she would have loved it.
The worst thing....going to my parents house. Seeing her bed was the single hardest thing....I can't even describe it. I spent most of the time in the kitchen because I couldn't bare to go in that room. I mean, just seeing her handwriting was making me cry. Seeing her walker and her clothes and her glasses. It was just so surreal.
It still feels like it really isn't happening. I'm so scared of the viewing. I'm afraid that once I actually see her in the coffin, laying there, then she'll actualy be gone. And I don't want her to be gone. I just can't stomach it...I'm not brave enough to see her, or go through her things, or talk to other people about all of it.
All your words have been a huge help. They've made me cry, but in a good way, a way to let everything out. I can't believe the outpouring of love, I can't believe this many people honestly care.....I'm beyond touched.
Her heart stopped, they tried to revive her, but it didn't work.
Before it happened, my dad told me, she was in and out of consciousness. She wasn't really aware of anything going on.
I'm hoping that she went when she was out of it, semi-asleep, without pain.
After a 25 year battle with various cancers, its finally over and she's finally at peace.
I haven't been home in 3 weeks, I was hoping to go home and spend the whole day there tommorrow. I haven't really talked to her in 3 days, she had been sick so I wasn't calling her, because I knew she didn't feel well.
Shaking uncontrolablely is a really weird thing. I can't stop. I'm not cold, but I feel like all my insides are twitching.
I feel like everything I had is just crashing down around me. And its kind of ironic, that all I want to do, more then anything else, is to call my mom and talk to her, and have her tell me that everything is ok and that she loves me.
How am I supposed to live the rest of my life without that?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I went to the funeral home today with my sister and dad. We planned everything. Her viewing is Friday and her funeral mass is on Saturday morning. My dad was concerned I would be upset it was on my birthday, but i'm not. She's going to be cremated, so there will not be a burial. She's going to be put into 4 urns, for the people closest to her (me, my dad, my sister, and my cousin who was like a daughter to her). I picked out my urn, its copper with cloistonne flowers painted on in blues. I think she would have loved it.
The worst thing....going to my parents house. Seeing her bed was the single hardest thing....I can't even describe it. I spent most of the time in the kitchen because I couldn't bare to go in that room. I mean, just seeing her handwriting was making me cry. Seeing her walker and her clothes and her glasses. It was just so surreal.
It still feels like it really isn't happening. I'm so scared of the viewing. I'm afraid that once I actually see her in the coffin, laying there, then she'll actualy be gone. And I don't want her to be gone. I just can't stomach it...I'm not brave enough to see her, or go through her things, or talk to other people about all of it.
All your words have been a huge help. They've made me cry, but in a good way, a way to let everything out. I can't believe the outpouring of love, I can't believe this many people honestly care.....I'm beyond touched.
VIEW 25 of 36 COMMENTS
be strong, love.