aponia

The Replacement Song
by Ill Lit

she's the prettiest girl at the wake
find out when we'll be back again
things are better off now and again
all my new friends are old friends
there's a problem with light
in our room
you try to catch it to keep it there
tell me when it comes back
again,
there's a service for everything
when they put him down
they're gonna cover him up
you can spill anything
on a bar
you're burning your eyes on a screen
saving for everything
waiting for god to blink
but stayed so long
he ended up alone
how much more do you think you have to work
before you prove there's nothing let to say here
sing, sing a new song
end it up alone.


A band I love that is shamefully underrated.
I feel like a kid recently. I've lost all control over my surroundings. I was told by my doctor that if I don't take an MAOI there's nothing I can do and I might as well drop the study. I hate to think that I've gone through every psychiatric drug ever to grace the earth. But who knows. So...do I risk my heath and love of beer to take these meds...or do I just stay crazy.
Decisions decisions.

And my dad sent my resume to a friend of his seeing if there amy be a job in a big company for me. I know he means the best, and I do desperately need different work, but I just feel....I don't know...18?
I have people constantly and conisitently talking down to me, whether it be at work, my family, my friends, I don't know. How old am I? Aren't I 28..soon to be 29? Why do I feel younger and stupider now then I did when I was 18.

I hate having like zero control over my life.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am now officially a woman of leisure.
The fuckers laid-off/fired me. Its total bullshit. Everything they mentioned...bullshit. I am 100% certain it was because I was getting fed up at the way they were treating me. I was questioning everything, not chit chatting in the morning, and this unnerved everyone. So...I'm out on my ass.

I don't even want to give them another word, another breath of air from my lungs, another spark in my cerebelum. They are not worth my time.

But..I am proud to say I didn't punch them...fuckers..even thought they TOTALLY deserved it!
So..yeah...happy birthday to me...unemployed and poor.
10 days until the rest of my fucking life.