aponia

Hey ladies and gents,

I feel like I've been in a terrible mood all week. It kind of came to a head last night. I had a meeting with my boss and my manager. I'm not going into details, but it sucked. It really really sucked. I'm hurt and upset and I think this is the worst thing they've ever done to me. And the ironic thing is....its all because the two girls who pretend to be friendly with me but are always playing the seniority card...are lazy. They're lazy. They don't want to do their jobs so I get fucked over. I'm a fucking scapegoat and there's no fucking way I'm going to be ok with that. I'm going to come in, do my fucking work and go home...no chit chat, no smoke breaks with any of them...just keep to my damn self. Because you know, when a ship is sinking, there's no point in making an effort to save it.

So I'm miserable and kind of sad. Sometimes its really hard to have faith in others. And I know I'm being overdramatic...but isn't this just a small reflection of the country as a whole? Everyone is just out for themselves and they don't give a shit who they fuck over along the way. No one pays attention to the world around them anymore. Hence the terrible government we have in place right now. My last rant really made me realize, we're out there, there's some of us that are pissed off about the state of things, we're just such a small minority that its like we don't exist.
What happened to human genetics...isn't compassion supposed to be in there somewhere? Or was it kicked out through evolution awhile ago...

Its just hard not to get completely depressed. I watch the news, I talk to other people, I deal with assholes at work. How can people wake up and deal with such shit everyday? I mean, its all so depressing. It makes me lose faith in the world, in our country, in society, in everything! I really want to be angry, but its hard to keep up the momentum.

Someone tell me one thing that will help me keep the faith that people aren't all bad...that we're not just greedy ticks.

oh...and I totally fucked up my shawl. I got so frustrated I ripped the fucker out and started over. The only unfortunate thing..i need to buy two more skeins of yarn, since a good chunk of the first two balls now lives in my garbage.