apologees

gah
i am too white bread for my own good.
i am now wishing to move to alaskan mountains with a girl and a library of books. fuck that bible verse about coming down the mountain.
why can't i just think hard enough to make things work out for good? i can do it in my head. why can't i do it in the really real?
everyone is accidental--that is the consolation that doesn't actually work out...dumbass postmodernist virgin professors feeding that bullshit to young minds that are too old to know better...
gimme my shot, dammit.
gimme my cure.

or, less pretentiously: give TROUBLE ME.