todays another boring shitty one ... my katana still isnt here yet... cry....
i hate life ... its so pathetic these days... all i can think of right now is what ive lost ...trying to be posative.... but its hard since im alone all the fucking time...im getting better at my swordplay ... my tec. is still choppy ... i just cant seem to get it fluent again... i use to be able to be so fluent it was like water and i was dancing .... but now a days its just one strike after another and you can see where one ends and another begins... ill never master my swordplay at this rate... i guess its cause i cant focus... but its life keep trying or die...
and im still alive ... barely some days but alive
what elce got my chrismass shoping done... the winter solstace this year is going to suck... its cold now bitter and cold... and im walking or bussing everywhere so lifes much harder than it should be...
my ex nieves... shes got to get a leep prosedure done dont realy know much about it except it due to an std she gave me when she fucked around...and since its a pre cancerous thing im paying for it to be done... she hates it when i do that but theres no choice ... health over happness..so its ok let her be pissed
shes been sweet to me lately... i miss her... but ... ok this is redicouls its been 7 mounths get a grip weapon... wake up she doesnt love you and if she does she can shes confused and needs time let it be... for fucks sake .... im supose to be the rational phiolsoph that cant spell but all i seem to do is whine why why isnt the way i want it to be... i know im lonly but that doesnt give me the right to force everyone to hear me complain about it now... no im just going to do what i can thats all i can do anyway... i hope this year the winter solstace (i selebrate it on chrismass so my family and i can see eye to eye on something..)will be nice ... not hay i got lost of presents... but hay im happy ...im safe and im loved... i think the last is most emportant to me ... i miss being held.... the feeling where you drift off to sleep in someones arms ... and its just amazing that you let anyone so close..... but its ok im strong... i half to be people need me .. i can lick my wonds later
well happy celebrations to all and my this year like the next be full of joy and if it isnt change it make it full of joy... isnt that what lifes about ... being happy and satisfied
anyhow
blessed be and all that jazz
weapon
i hate life ... its so pathetic these days... all i can think of right now is what ive lost ...trying to be posative.... but its hard since im alone all the fucking time...im getting better at my swordplay ... my tec. is still choppy ... i just cant seem to get it fluent again... i use to be able to be so fluent it was like water and i was dancing .... but now a days its just one strike after another and you can see where one ends and another begins... ill never master my swordplay at this rate... i guess its cause i cant focus... but its life keep trying or die...
and im still alive ... barely some days but alive
what elce got my chrismass shoping done... the winter solstace this year is going to suck... its cold now bitter and cold... and im walking or bussing everywhere so lifes much harder than it should be...
my ex nieves... shes got to get a leep prosedure done dont realy know much about it except it due to an std she gave me when she fucked around...and since its a pre cancerous thing im paying for it to be done... she hates it when i do that but theres no choice ... health over happness..so its ok let her be pissed
shes been sweet to me lately... i miss her... but ... ok this is redicouls its been 7 mounths get a grip weapon... wake up she doesnt love you and if she does she can shes confused and needs time let it be... for fucks sake .... im supose to be the rational phiolsoph that cant spell but all i seem to do is whine why why isnt the way i want it to be... i know im lonly but that doesnt give me the right to force everyone to hear me complain about it now... no im just going to do what i can thats all i can do anyway... i hope this year the winter solstace (i selebrate it on chrismass so my family and i can see eye to eye on something..)will be nice ... not hay i got lost of presents... but hay im happy ...im safe and im loved... i think the last is most emportant to me ... i miss being held.... the feeling where you drift off to sleep in someones arms ... and its just amazing that you let anyone so close..... but its ok im strong... i half to be people need me .. i can lick my wonds later
well happy celebrations to all and my this year like the next be full of joy and if it isnt change it make it full of joy... isnt that what lifes about ... being happy and satisfied
anyhow
blessed be and all that jazz
weapon