this is going to take me a minute.
i spent most of the day with a lot of tension and anger floating around in my mind. and lots of concentrated anger in my heart that i have yet to vent.
ill be damned if anyone will take my shop away from me. i built that shop with my father. and my brother came along and started fucking things up. he lies, he cheats, he manipulates. all the things that i cannot stand for. i know there is such a thing as love for family. but for him i see nothing but red. since he came home, he acted like he was ready to change, but now, all he wants is the money. he just wants to work as a mechanic to make money and drop us again. or until he fucks somones car up gets sued and ends up crawling back here. and at this point, i have given up on him. i dont trust him. and i dont love him. ever since i can remember he has done nothing for me. the things he actually did do, were illegal, illegal meaning that the small things he bought for me, was with stolen money. but he never bought it on his own accord, oh no, my mom told him to buy it for me.
my grandfather. may his spirit be remembered, past away 4 years ago. it will be 5 years this January. i was raised to believe that he was an awful man, and that he was some kind of ogre. i believed all of it up until tonight. my grandmother, a very manipulative person, told me all of these things, no one else did. what terrible facts/rumors bestowed on me. i had the worst feeling in my stomach when my mother told me that my grandfather wasnt the person that i was led to believe. i guess there was a reason that i wept for him at his funeral. we were never close, but i have one memory of him that i will never forget, and it was one of my earliest ones. but i will tell about it later. my grandmother, the person that raised me for the earlier parts of my life, lied to me, and has kept on lying to me. this i cannot forgive. my mother told me that my grandmother has never once accepted her. and that even on their wedding day my gramma never showed up. there are other stories i have been told, but that will be for a later day.
i cannot believe what i have heard tonight, i cannot explain how i felt, i cannot even begin to describe how these things impacted me.
i spent most of the day with a lot of tension and anger floating around in my mind. and lots of concentrated anger in my heart that i have yet to vent.
ill be damned if anyone will take my shop away from me. i built that shop with my father. and my brother came along and started fucking things up. he lies, he cheats, he manipulates. all the things that i cannot stand for. i know there is such a thing as love for family. but for him i see nothing but red. since he came home, he acted like he was ready to change, but now, all he wants is the money. he just wants to work as a mechanic to make money and drop us again. or until he fucks somones car up gets sued and ends up crawling back here. and at this point, i have given up on him. i dont trust him. and i dont love him. ever since i can remember he has done nothing for me. the things he actually did do, were illegal, illegal meaning that the small things he bought for me, was with stolen money. but he never bought it on his own accord, oh no, my mom told him to buy it for me.
my grandfather. may his spirit be remembered, past away 4 years ago. it will be 5 years this January. i was raised to believe that he was an awful man, and that he was some kind of ogre. i believed all of it up until tonight. my grandmother, a very manipulative person, told me all of these things, no one else did. what terrible facts/rumors bestowed on me. i had the worst feeling in my stomach when my mother told me that my grandfather wasnt the person that i was led to believe. i guess there was a reason that i wept for him at his funeral. we were never close, but i have one memory of him that i will never forget, and it was one of my earliest ones. but i will tell about it later. my grandmother, the person that raised me for the earlier parts of my life, lied to me, and has kept on lying to me. this i cannot forgive. my mother told me that my grandmother has never once accepted her. and that even on their wedding day my gramma never showed up. there are other stories i have been told, but that will be for a later day.
i cannot believe what i have heard tonight, i cannot explain how i felt, i cannot even begin to describe how these things impacted me.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
evil:
i hope everything is a little better! i guess your not coming up with jay-jay this weekend? SOON!!!! miss you!! 
malloreigh:
*GLOMP*