**Update**
If you needed a reason to believe in the world again, this is it:
I cried cuz im like that.
I am the girl with the Panda Bear Eyes. They will always be that way. My own brand of anemia-chic.
Stolen Dreams, dissapeared within a room shared with a tornado. Piles and piles of stolen-found clothes littered in mountainous formations, blankets, too many blankets that smell of dog and beer, plastic gas masks. Messages to forget written on the shattered mirror. The white dress from Nola trash makes the TV light more bearable when i try to sleep, and there are christmas lights everywhere. Every night i make my bed a little more like a cabin. A blue tarp hangs over my window to prevent the zombies from getting in, my nightmares are almost over their wave but I cannot walk anywhere when there are no lights on. I end up running so fast I will have a mild heart attack. It has always been that way. I can live under bridges and dark tunnels and dark smokey garbage smelling alleyways just fine, but when im inside with no lights on... the monsters come out. Im 24 years old and monsters still chase me. I didnt even realize i was 24 until last summer. Thats what happens when you dont celebrate your birthday. You stay stuck in the last one you did.
So I smoke more and more cigarettes, hoping the smoke will camoflauge the shadow daemons. A ring thats lost its fake diamonds hides under the pillow, the ring that made LIFE a LI E.sits somewhere unknown in the world, awol. I can never hold on to jewlery. I dont like them and fiddle with them unconciously until they fall off. I search the pavement for a hint of its glimmer, but i do not see. Puppy sleeps in a warm little heap, wags his tail when i kiss his ear, thumpthumpthumpthump. He can keep a beat.
My best friend went to jail, so i have moved into his room, paying his share of rent, since nobody else would take care of his dog. Her name is Boxcar, Cara for short and she makes the silliest noises if i leave and come back. She is a Goddess and a very good protector. Her eyes are undiscovered planets, and they hide the secrets of the world, they really do. My baby puppy is in love with her. Ourson is 8 months old now. He has shark teeth just like his older brother. I still cringe when i pass the spot where he got murdered. Time heals nothing. I have taught Ourson to lick tears, and instead of teaching him to shake a paw, which does nothing, i taught him GIMME A HUG. Very practical. It is hard to have a bad day with him around. When he greets me he does his very own Wiggle Dance, and I do it back and we have a wiggle dance-off.
My roomate is never home. He takes his job as roomate too seriously, steals my rent money and eats all my food. I would poison it like i did at the loudhouse, putting bleach in the milk, haha but i like him too much, he's a boy version of me. We grew up in towns very similar. The hydro bill has not been paid since it got turned on. I thought id live here for quite awhile, but i never live anywhere for quite awhile. I wonder what story it will be this time to have me back on the streets. I think i have become too domesticated. But its fun because I can collect things and make lotsa artsy stuff and hang them up on trees along the bike path, or other places. I have my own art gallery along Hochelaga bike path. Come visit it and bring your own wine and cheese and crackers to share with me.
I got a job and got fired after 3 weeks.. figures. But i really liked all the people i worked with. It was a "social reinsertion programme", whatever that means. Everybody there had a story, and i could pick out of the crowd who had gone to jail for armmed robbery. I have a knack for that.
Peel park was dug up, the indian burial grounds, but where did they put the bodies? It was this big secret operation, it was all boarded up throughout the work so you couldnt see a thing. I havent ever walked over them. If i was a spirit, i would seek my revenge quite ferociously. Id like to take acid and lay down there for awhile at night. See what ideas spring up and what shadows and colors take shape, i like psychosis. Sometimes. only sometimes. and only my own. I seem to be the only one who never has negative psychosis.
This is a different part of town... every metro stop has its own city. Its spring. Its summer. Everyone is twitterpated and all my favourite parks are filled with all my favourite people. Oh yeah, I gave up on love. Haha! Just like that. Im done. Its over. Never again. I know people say that from time to time, but when your in love, you give pieces of yourself away, over and over until nothing is left, and i need to refill, cause im runnin on empty.
Im going on a mission. To find pot. I need to smoke a joint oh so very much and spend the rest of the sunlight cloud-breaking, throwing stix for Ourson, and havin wiggle dance-offs.
Cheers to this sun going down... This city needs more stars and magic
Let the wild rumpus begin!!!!
If you needed a reason to believe in the world again, this is it:
I cried cuz im like that.
I am the girl with the Panda Bear Eyes. They will always be that way. My own brand of anemia-chic.
Stolen Dreams, dissapeared within a room shared with a tornado. Piles and piles of stolen-found clothes littered in mountainous formations, blankets, too many blankets that smell of dog and beer, plastic gas masks. Messages to forget written on the shattered mirror. The white dress from Nola trash makes the TV light more bearable when i try to sleep, and there are christmas lights everywhere. Every night i make my bed a little more like a cabin. A blue tarp hangs over my window to prevent the zombies from getting in, my nightmares are almost over their wave but I cannot walk anywhere when there are no lights on. I end up running so fast I will have a mild heart attack. It has always been that way. I can live under bridges and dark tunnels and dark smokey garbage smelling alleyways just fine, but when im inside with no lights on... the monsters come out. Im 24 years old and monsters still chase me. I didnt even realize i was 24 until last summer. Thats what happens when you dont celebrate your birthday. You stay stuck in the last one you did.
So I smoke more and more cigarettes, hoping the smoke will camoflauge the shadow daemons. A ring thats lost its fake diamonds hides under the pillow, the ring that made LIFE a LI E.sits somewhere unknown in the world, awol. I can never hold on to jewlery. I dont like them and fiddle with them unconciously until they fall off. I search the pavement for a hint of its glimmer, but i do not see. Puppy sleeps in a warm little heap, wags his tail when i kiss his ear, thumpthumpthumpthump. He can keep a beat.
My best friend went to jail, so i have moved into his room, paying his share of rent, since nobody else would take care of his dog. Her name is Boxcar, Cara for short and she makes the silliest noises if i leave and come back. She is a Goddess and a very good protector. Her eyes are undiscovered planets, and they hide the secrets of the world, they really do. My baby puppy is in love with her. Ourson is 8 months old now. He has shark teeth just like his older brother. I still cringe when i pass the spot where he got murdered. Time heals nothing. I have taught Ourson to lick tears, and instead of teaching him to shake a paw, which does nothing, i taught him GIMME A HUG. Very practical. It is hard to have a bad day with him around. When he greets me he does his very own Wiggle Dance, and I do it back and we have a wiggle dance-off.
My roomate is never home. He takes his job as roomate too seriously, steals my rent money and eats all my food. I would poison it like i did at the loudhouse, putting bleach in the milk, haha but i like him too much, he's a boy version of me. We grew up in towns very similar. The hydro bill has not been paid since it got turned on. I thought id live here for quite awhile, but i never live anywhere for quite awhile. I wonder what story it will be this time to have me back on the streets. I think i have become too domesticated. But its fun because I can collect things and make lotsa artsy stuff and hang them up on trees along the bike path, or other places. I have my own art gallery along Hochelaga bike path. Come visit it and bring your own wine and cheese and crackers to share with me.
I got a job and got fired after 3 weeks.. figures. But i really liked all the people i worked with. It was a "social reinsertion programme", whatever that means. Everybody there had a story, and i could pick out of the crowd who had gone to jail for armmed robbery. I have a knack for that.
Peel park was dug up, the indian burial grounds, but where did they put the bodies? It was this big secret operation, it was all boarded up throughout the work so you couldnt see a thing. I havent ever walked over them. If i was a spirit, i would seek my revenge quite ferociously. Id like to take acid and lay down there for awhile at night. See what ideas spring up and what shadows and colors take shape, i like psychosis. Sometimes. only sometimes. and only my own. I seem to be the only one who never has negative psychosis.
This is a different part of town... every metro stop has its own city. Its spring. Its summer. Everyone is twitterpated and all my favourite parks are filled with all my favourite people. Oh yeah, I gave up on love. Haha! Just like that. Im done. Its over. Never again. I know people say that from time to time, but when your in love, you give pieces of yourself away, over and over until nothing is left, and i need to refill, cause im runnin on empty.
Im going on a mission. To find pot. I need to smoke a joint oh so very much and spend the rest of the sunlight cloud-breaking, throwing stix for Ourson, and havin wiggle dance-offs.
Cheers to this sun going down... This city needs more stars and magic
Let the wild rumpus begin!!!!
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
Much love.
Novel left, i've got a place you can stay. my own apartment. my bus is parked in the driveway. I'm getting another bus soon. I do 2 weeks in the house, 2 weeks on the road. you need to get here. i can come pick you up... you just need to get across the line.
JUST GET ACROSS.
GET.ACROSS.