apathy

I laughed because i was hiding under the table and you always tell yourself what you would do in the situation but then its happening and im doing the pee dance almost im lost in front of the mirror because theres too many windows. DioDog the big shame does dick fuck all as the door came down in splinters and the half hour standoff was over and now this 200 lb man with a badhaircut and too much uniform stares at me and i stare somewhere in between my feet and his. So well, whatif i join the little scene of winter jailgoers and eat bad food and dream all day, without cigarettes. I am all girl-on-the-run and maybe its a little too romanticized in afterstories. The city is thirdworld military dictatorship and what was i here for again i ask but remember too soon with the frustration of avoiding and isolation. But that game of russian roulette with mr. ewe ayss aie Christoblur slowed me down to a quickquick stop, like a dog who saw freedom in the field but forgot the leash was tied to the tree. He who said then what where the words, like a knife that wrecked lives sociopath mutherfukin americans think themselves kings. Redflag say carharts. So i embark soon on the 6 month hell that makes or breaks. Im scared. Really really shit your pretty pink panties scared. But it will be fate, end of the line beached i search for the two G's who i ran with when there were numbers attached to our lives and we beat it both with the same way of talking and dog lovin, wolves and rabbits in the flesh. Cactus, the call was cut short but it was funny in the not-so-funny way as it is when you watch somebody in front of you break down completly, every last little bit with no empathy for the pity plea. YOU cannot OWN a molecule i wanted to communicate somehow but the drop-down list of menu choices was de-categorized, drawing a familiar wide blanked-out area of the screen and my eyes went dark and i think i broke something small and sharp in the hip and spine. hiphip my walk goes and the pain is feed and being immobile is aggravating when you live in a country with free healthcare that isnt available to small creatures who's souls live off grass under leaky bridges with bodies in small hobbit holes. AND THEN well there are the people, who in my experience are usually couples with a project, and total realities are pulled out of a little black top hat and refuse to hear anything other than whatever it is they are up to. I went for a spin out of nowhere on that one. But ill never forget the girl from the same area code who said with anger WHY the fuck are you panhandling when i sucked dick motherfucker when the rabbit was inked on my arm. You were funny even if rent did go missing after you left never to be heard from again...
My brother in the forest with the snow weighing down tree branches was given one of two secrets ive wanted him to hear his whole life and now i found 1 of 5 missing. OH hello BOY it is GIRL how is the t dot was it the life you dreamed of or just coasting.. yknow lettn things happen and flow usually means just lettin go! Says Rabbit who runs away from it all they say they say... come back to reality they say, its all going to stop eventually they say follow our lead they say what are you scared of to live they say they say and ive nothing but a silly blank stare to offer such assembled words. If anything, i think it is YOU who runs away. Fck the desert and fieldmice if i just had one citizen fish CD id be ok... the past 6 days ive been on the road more than even it took to cross a whole country through closed highways waistdeep in snow with no traffic ravens eating dead moose by the highway in the night with two stars.
Miss Paradise wanting a better place or just a better way to fall she was singing in the park in the dark the night she put blood all over the walls...