It is because the world is so far away and quiet that is the reason behind writing things on dead trees. To be the girl in the mirror again only this time I dont know what to tell her. Maybe he was right when he said I missed, I just never realize im taking aim. For 11 days now I havent moved further than a few feet. Taking refuge inside the outside. A whole bag full of things to eat, chemicals and plastic. My helping hand just another added to the destruction disguised as happiness found in the out-of-sight=out-of-mind mentality, idealogy? I am just a pregnancy away from becoming a statistic and a final sigh from the people ive deceived. The more time passes by, the more Ive been opening up, saying and telling not wanting to be secretive, filling in the blanks with sugar coated little white lies, if id throw a ball of truth theyd catch a wall of silence. I move through towns, area codes and through time changes, forever moving forward but the background story always remains the same. Stuck trying to survive in basic cable plot lines, everything always returning to come full circle back to square one. I need a bigger budget or even better a talented foreign writer, before it goes off the air altogether. Make my character the first to die! I'd say in hopes of freedom and finding wonder. Although your returning words have been just fine even if you dont think it means diddley-squat.
Hearing the static from the open windows I cant seem to search for that lust, I sleep and I go back to sleep. My one reason for waking up, this disease I try to believe Ive had enough, Marked a date in the empty day planner, knowing full well otherwise. I will force a new chapter beginning on myself, before this book is finished, and the new one starts. I will need a new mindframe when that day comes, plus a heavy dose of some new revolutionary way of forgetting.
So I tried. I sat next to the quai with big hopes of getting out, second time in 30 days. Everytime the train alarm sounded my heartbeat raced and legs buckled even faster as all went wrong. I watched two go by by the time I was headed back. I think i had been looking for signs to tell me to stay, without seeing any, or maybe making a few up along the way. Aim and miss. "You only ever have to make the heavy decisions' she consoled to me as I called without anything to say. I blocked every deep flutter away and put one foot in front of the other, without anywhere to go. I heard a clang of keys behind me on what I could tell was an overweight man, clearing his throat to get my attention. The ever-faithful tell-tale sign that you are being tailed by security. I made a big Oscar-winning huff about playing the lost card, going up and down hallways until I saw the sky through windows and burst through some oppressively hard to open doors. All signs steered me to the land of its-not-going-to-happen,maybe-tomorrow deal. I found a cathedral to sleep next to, hidden from view by a tall green garden, under a 36 C sun. People went by with their fragile lives thinking sugar shallow melodies, but who am I to judge all in a self-indulgent frenzy, with colors flying by and no concept of time. If they had succeeded by now I would be a drooling medicated mess without the concept of doodley-squat. I think often if it would have been better that way, to find consolation through retail-therapy, happy in my ignorance.
Please go visit and read Azurescens blog, we must take this sick excuse for a human EEK and have his penis removed in pieces, then stuffed up his nose as we laugh and point. and kick. and punch. and other horrible things i will leave to your imagination.
Hearing the static from the open windows I cant seem to search for that lust, I sleep and I go back to sleep. My one reason for waking up, this disease I try to believe Ive had enough, Marked a date in the empty day planner, knowing full well otherwise. I will force a new chapter beginning on myself, before this book is finished, and the new one starts. I will need a new mindframe when that day comes, plus a heavy dose of some new revolutionary way of forgetting.
So I tried. I sat next to the quai with big hopes of getting out, second time in 30 days. Everytime the train alarm sounded my heartbeat raced and legs buckled even faster as all went wrong. I watched two go by by the time I was headed back. I think i had been looking for signs to tell me to stay, without seeing any, or maybe making a few up along the way. Aim and miss. "You only ever have to make the heavy decisions' she consoled to me as I called without anything to say. I blocked every deep flutter away and put one foot in front of the other, without anywhere to go. I heard a clang of keys behind me on what I could tell was an overweight man, clearing his throat to get my attention. The ever-faithful tell-tale sign that you are being tailed by security. I made a big Oscar-winning huff about playing the lost card, going up and down hallways until I saw the sky through windows and burst through some oppressively hard to open doors. All signs steered me to the land of its-not-going-to-happen,maybe-tomorrow deal. I found a cathedral to sleep next to, hidden from view by a tall green garden, under a 36 C sun. People went by with their fragile lives thinking sugar shallow melodies, but who am I to judge all in a self-indulgent frenzy, with colors flying by and no concept of time. If they had succeeded by now I would be a drooling medicated mess without the concept of doodley-squat. I think often if it would have been better that way, to find consolation through retail-therapy, happy in my ignorance.
Please go visit and read Azurescens blog, we must take this sick excuse for a human EEK and have his penis removed in pieces, then stuffed up his nose as we laugh and point. and kick. and punch. and other horrible things i will leave to your imagination.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
souljackercdn:
Is Apathy still out there somewhere? In this bloody cold?
naty:
your beautiful!