aoife

I have my little bits of crazy when I think this guy is not into me for various reasons or I think that maybe I'm just fooling myself about my own feelings--years of dating assholes can do that to a girl, I guess. I freak myself out for no good reason, thinking that if my phone doesn't ring at such and such a time, he's never going to call me again. My bouts of paranoia can last almost all day, set off by nothing more than a rushed good-bye on the phone or not a long enough kiss good-bye in person.

He's got much the same fears, I think--the other night when my text message was "not too sappy this time--just goodnight" he called immediately to make sure he hadn't "been demoted."

But every now and then while I'm overthinking every possible option (from him sleeping with some girl in Ohio at Ozzfest to us ending up married and bored with each other at 50), I get this slow warm feeling like I do when we kiss that just makes me stop and appreciate what I've got.

A warm, generous, kind, honest, smart, funny, considerate, sexy man.

Yeah, I'm fuckin' disgusting.

In other news, if you didn't catch House of Flying Daggers in the theater, pick up the DVD. If China really does take over the world, I hope it at least results in far more movies like this. For a country that has a terrible human rights record where women are concerned, they sure do have some badass female characters in kung fu movies.