I have the coughs hardcore and I feel like death right now. I feel really... young. I want to be older, I want to be in love. I want fucking... AHH I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND NOT MAKE SENSE AND NOT CARE because I'm sick of feeling so fucking stupid. I hate how I don't know how to talk about how I feel anymore because I never KNOW how I feel and my brain is so fucking fried it's not even funny. But now I'm too fucking stupid to think of stopping with all the drugs because they're all that makes me happy anymore. I want to be loved to badly it hurts... I won't ever know what that feels like because I'm starting to think I'm not even worth that. I wish I was a virgin, I wish I was worthy of an amazing guy's love but I feel like nothing right now. I can't believe that I can't even say what I'm really thinking, I've written all of this and haven't accomplished SHIT. Fuck, don't waste your time trying to cheer me up. You won't say the right thing because you can't read my mind and I'll just fucking complain because I suck. Wow... I sound like a fucking 12 year old.
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adrenalynne:
ugh. i hear you on the death thing. no fun.
mikezoolander:
I tend to be in loved with the loved all the time....go figure 