I suppose this is the place to bitch about work since (as far as I know) my coworkers aren't reading it.
Met with the salary-decider today. Yes, he thinks I'm awesome, I work hard, have never gotten a complaint from constituents or co-workers, and go above and beyond all the time. Yes, I deserve and need a lot more money.
BUT nothing can be done for maybe 60 days (a bonus) or 90 days (a real actual raise.) Few things are more stressful than doing double the work and getting half the paycheck. On the up-side, I didn't have to argue or justify why I want more money; it's obvious to everyone including Mr. Purse-strings. But compliments don't put gas in the tank, you know? Also positive is knowing that as soon as I want a full time position (ie. finish school or finally give up and say fuck school) I have one waiting for me. But this brings up further issues, because I really want to move back to Chicago.
Lately, I've been literally aching to move home. Lower rent, same salaries, better food, better bars, less registered GOP members, my old friends, the Lake, the EL / little need for a car...it goes on and on. But for all I know, I;m romanticizing it. I know its changed a lot, like most major cities, in the last few years. I guess I just need something familiar. Generally I've been pretty down lately because everything (work, school, relationships) seem up in the air. Its as if every time I try to come to a resolution (like the meeting I had today about salary) no concrete answer comes out of it. Every conversation in my life seems to end up unfinished leaving me totally confused and no less stressed.
I've been accused of acting like the sky is (constantly) falling and I'm sure its a huge buzz kill but what the fuck? If I can't work it out in my own head, shouldn't I be able to lean on my friends for support without feeling guilty about it? My one girlfriend that I can talk to just got laid off in the whole housing freak-out so I don't wanna put it all on her. My best longtime friend is in a bad place herself so I end up just listening to her problems and not talking about my own, and the other person I feel comfortable venting to is getting sick of hearing it. So I guess that's what blogs are for; venting without stepping on toes.
I'm sure I'll feel better later and get back to dumb political crap no one else cares about
Met with the salary-decider today. Yes, he thinks I'm awesome, I work hard, have never gotten a complaint from constituents or co-workers, and go above and beyond all the time. Yes, I deserve and need a lot more money.
BUT nothing can be done for maybe 60 days (a bonus) or 90 days (a real actual raise.) Few things are more stressful than doing double the work and getting half the paycheck. On the up-side, I didn't have to argue or justify why I want more money; it's obvious to everyone including Mr. Purse-strings. But compliments don't put gas in the tank, you know? Also positive is knowing that as soon as I want a full time position (ie. finish school or finally give up and say fuck school) I have one waiting for me. But this brings up further issues, because I really want to move back to Chicago.
Lately, I've been literally aching to move home. Lower rent, same salaries, better food, better bars, less registered GOP members, my old friends, the Lake, the EL / little need for a car...it goes on and on. But for all I know, I;m romanticizing it. I know its changed a lot, like most major cities, in the last few years. I guess I just need something familiar. Generally I've been pretty down lately because everything (work, school, relationships) seem up in the air. Its as if every time I try to come to a resolution (like the meeting I had today about salary) no concrete answer comes out of it. Every conversation in my life seems to end up unfinished leaving me totally confused and no less stressed.
I've been accused of acting like the sky is (constantly) falling and I'm sure its a huge buzz kill but what the fuck? If I can't work it out in my own head, shouldn't I be able to lean on my friends for support without feeling guilty about it? My one girlfriend that I can talk to just got laid off in the whole housing freak-out so I don't wanna put it all on her. My best longtime friend is in a bad place herself so I end up just listening to her problems and not talking about my own, and the other person I feel comfortable venting to is getting sick of hearing it. So I guess that's what blogs are for; venting without stepping on toes.
I'm sure I'll feel better later and get back to dumb political crap no one else cares about
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
I think when i finally go back home, i'm looking at moving out more westerly like Chicago, Denver or Portland. Chicago seems like an amazing place. Good luck with your decisions.