This is an example of the eternal optimist in me. I am so over being bummed about the divorce. All I can think is, "wow, I'm 23 and I've had 2 great loves. From what I understand, some people are lucky to find one." I feel incredibly lucky and grateful to have had the opportunity to have such experiences. How fucking weird am I? heh
I have officially decided that I am currently the happiest I have been in a very long time, both quality and quantity-wise. I don't remember the last time I was this consistently this fucking happy (probably with the exception of my wedding and honeymoon. But even with the awesomeness of my honeymoon, due to various circumstances, I don't think I was as consistently happy as I am when I'm with Tony). And I'm a pretty damn happy person. It's almost surreal, and decidedly ( ) too good to be true, because I never feel anything less than happy when he's around.
We went out and partied for St. Patrick's Day last night with a couple of Tony's old friends from high school. If you can believe it, I had an absolute blast (I really love the way Tony always makes me feel like part of the crowd/conversation, even when I'm really not a part of the conversation, like when they were talking old high school buddies (not that I mind that they were talking about old friends, it's all good. ). His friends were really cool and nice and funny, and I totally look forward to hanging out with them again. We went to this little dive bar in San Jose, where they totally had this ghetto little buffet with corned beef and cabbage and stuff, and we got cool little green light up necklaces. My first drink of the evening was a vodka, with some diet coke for color the way that dude made it. hehe. On an almost empty stomach, that made me feel real good, real fast. After hanging out at the bar for awhile, we went over to a hookah lounge, my first. It was a really cool, chill atmosphere. And I don't know if any of you know me well enough to know what a totally big deal, almost amazing thing it is, but I totally smoked some. And it wasn't bad. I think I might be interested in trying it again. I think next time I would go for a more fruity kind (flavor?). There was another bar hypothetically planned afterwards, but we all ended up calling it a night after that. I'm not sure I could have made it much longer. I went home with Tony (where I'm staying until Monday or he gets tired of me, whichever comes first. hehe. Yay! It makes me so happy to know I get to see him tonight. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day!!! ), and I remember he said all sorts of wonderful, beautiful things to me, and I am so bummed, because of the booze and the sleepiness, I don't remember all the things he said. That makes me kinda sad . But on the bright side, I have the feeling there will be more sweet things.
I have officially decided that I am currently the happiest I have been in a very long time, both quality and quantity-wise. I don't remember the last time I was this consistently this fucking happy (probably with the exception of my wedding and honeymoon. But even with the awesomeness of my honeymoon, due to various circumstances, I don't think I was as consistently happy as I am when I'm with Tony). And I'm a pretty damn happy person. It's almost surreal, and decidedly ( ) too good to be true, because I never feel anything less than happy when he's around.
We went out and partied for St. Patrick's Day last night with a couple of Tony's old friends from high school. If you can believe it, I had an absolute blast (I really love the way Tony always makes me feel like part of the crowd/conversation, even when I'm really not a part of the conversation, like when they were talking old high school buddies (not that I mind that they were talking about old friends, it's all good. ). His friends were really cool and nice and funny, and I totally look forward to hanging out with them again. We went to this little dive bar in San Jose, where they totally had this ghetto little buffet with corned beef and cabbage and stuff, and we got cool little green light up necklaces. My first drink of the evening was a vodka, with some diet coke for color the way that dude made it. hehe. On an almost empty stomach, that made me feel real good, real fast. After hanging out at the bar for awhile, we went over to a hookah lounge, my first. It was a really cool, chill atmosphere. And I don't know if any of you know me well enough to know what a totally big deal, almost amazing thing it is, but I totally smoked some. And it wasn't bad. I think I might be interested in trying it again. I think next time I would go for a more fruity kind (flavor?). There was another bar hypothetically planned afterwards, but we all ended up calling it a night after that. I'm not sure I could have made it much longer. I went home with Tony (where I'm staying until Monday or he gets tired of me, whichever comes first. hehe. Yay! It makes me so happy to know I get to see him tonight. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day!!! ), and I remember he said all sorts of wonderful, beautiful things to me, and I am so bummed, because of the booze and the sleepiness, I don't remember all the things he said. That makes me kinda sad . But on the bright side, I have the feeling there will be more sweet things.
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What an awesome outlook. I tend to believe that if you learn from an experience, its never a mistake and it makes you who you are. Which isn't exactly optimistic, but its better than some reactions.
xip