"Who gave you a fine-tooth comb,
To judge your every move,
Before you even started
To make one?
Hey girl, it's a beautiful day for flying,
Don't you wanna open your eyes?"
"There's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be."
Excuse the extreme emo-ness of my opening there.
Big news for me, I guess. I just hit 100 pounds on my weight loss. 102.6 to be exact. While, on one hand, I'm mildly proud of myself for having acheived this goal, this has taken almost 2 years. I'm not saying that's it's taken me too long or anything, it's just that it's been so gradual. I've been thrilled with my success everyday I continue to be successful, and while 100 punds is a big number, it's kinda just another number at this point.
I'm not sure how I feel about people bringing it up in crowds. I'm not particularly proud of the fact that I used to weigh 102 pounds more than I do now, and it makes me mildly uncomfortable when people talk about my weight loss in public. A lot of the people I see most often have only known me over the last 50 pounds or so, so they never knew the really fat Tiffany. Hell, the other day, Tony noticed some before and after pictures I had made a while back to post in the Weight Loss group, and I wouldn't let him look at them. I'm not gonna censor othe pictures he might happen to see at my mom's house or whatever, but those just aren't things I'm particularly comfortable sharing. Not that I think he'll think any less of me, I just don't like it.
My biggest disappointment is that it seems to becoming clear that I'll never have the body I really want without surgery. I look fine in clothes (hell, I look good, dammit
), but naked my tummy still has that funny little pooch thing I've always hated. With every pound, I've been praying that would be the next to go. It's a smaller pooch, but it's still there, hanging over my belly button and I hate it. Also, I have what I consider gross amounts of excess skin on my boobs, and some on my tummy. Doing this weight loss thing the slow and smart way was supposed to minimize that. Apparently somebody forgot to tell my body. I hate that after all this work I'm not completely thrilled with the outcome. And I hate that even if I had the money lying around, I couldn't/wouldn't run out and get the surgery to lift my tits and get rid of that stupid skin, because there are most definitely children in our future, and then it's all gonna get stretched out again anyway. 
/sigh
I mean, yay me! 100 pounds!
(I certainly don't regret having lost all this weight. I love shopping now, and I love the way I look in all those clothes I can finally fit into. I feel cute when I go out practically constantly. But I write better about the negatives. )
To judge your every move,
Before you even started
To make one?
Hey girl, it's a beautiful day for flying,
Don't you wanna open your eyes?"
"There's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be."
Excuse the extreme emo-ness of my opening there.
Big news for me, I guess. I just hit 100 pounds on my weight loss. 102.6 to be exact. While, on one hand, I'm mildly proud of myself for having acheived this goal, this has taken almost 2 years. I'm not saying that's it's taken me too long or anything, it's just that it's been so gradual. I've been thrilled with my success everyday I continue to be successful, and while 100 punds is a big number, it's kinda just another number at this point.
I'm not sure how I feel about people bringing it up in crowds. I'm not particularly proud of the fact that I used to weigh 102 pounds more than I do now, and it makes me mildly uncomfortable when people talk about my weight loss in public. A lot of the people I see most often have only known me over the last 50 pounds or so, so they never knew the really fat Tiffany. Hell, the other day, Tony noticed some before and after pictures I had made a while back to post in the Weight Loss group, and I wouldn't let him look at them. I'm not gonna censor othe pictures he might happen to see at my mom's house or whatever, but those just aren't things I'm particularly comfortable sharing. Not that I think he'll think any less of me, I just don't like it.
My biggest disappointment is that it seems to becoming clear that I'll never have the body I really want without surgery. I look fine in clothes (hell, I look good, dammit
), but naked my tummy still has that funny little pooch thing I've always hated. With every pound, I've been praying that would be the next to go. It's a smaller pooch, but it's still there, hanging over my belly button and I hate it. Also, I have what I consider gross amounts of excess skin on my boobs, and some on my tummy. Doing this weight loss thing the slow and smart way was supposed to minimize that. Apparently somebody forgot to tell my body. I hate that after all this work I'm not completely thrilled with the outcome. And I hate that even if I had the money lying around, I couldn't/wouldn't run out and get the surgery to lift my tits and get rid of that stupid skin, because there are most definitely children in our future, and then it's all gonna get stretched out again anyway. /sigh
I mean, yay me! 100 pounds!
(I certainly don't regret having lost all this weight. I love shopping now, and I love the way I look in all those clothes I can finally fit into. I feel cute when I go out practically constantly. But I write better about the negatives. )VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
jmsilverwolf:
Congratulations!
erato:
I think I may have mentioned this in a thread previously, but I just wanted to congratulate you again. I went through a similar thing (lost 90 lbs) and feel you on the excess skin--time will take care of some of it, and I just had a breast lift recently to address some of it too. Just be patient and I believe your skin will contract more, and know I totally applaud you and empathize with how you're feeling.