antihero_wraith

I am alone.
All the time.
It is my fault.
I have problems explaining myself.
Issues explaining my actions.
Trouble making clear the things I say.
So I am alone.
I know that most people I would term friends think of me as that strange kid.
Or just want to maintain a relationship with me for the benefit of my connections.
For a while, I could just smile and say, "I help people. I help them find the things that they are looking for."
I now understand that I was deluding myself.
I hurt.
Lots.
And all over.
I'm beginning to resign myself to this particular brand of pain.
I can comprehend that my actions and words are misunderstood and I am often mistaken.
It hurts no less.
I have been accused of not caring anymore.
This is untrue.
I do the things I must because I care too much.
If I seem callous or cold, it is because I must be.
For your sake.
For my own.
But, I am alone.
And will be.
I think it might be better to be alone when you hurt.
That way, no one else is hurt with you.
I do not regret.
I will not forget.
Do you even see it?
Does it make you care?
Maybe I have deluded myself in this as well.
This is not a cry for help.
Nor a plea for attention.
Merely an explanation disguised as an excuse.