I figure everyone has read the anger letter who is going to read it, so I'm updating.
Valentine's Day was hard. It's really starting to sink in that we're not a part of each other's lives anymore. More than anything, I just miss talking to her. She made me laugh more than any woman ever has and I loved her voice.
Every day is a test. Sometimes I think I've got a grip - other times I feel like I'm just ignoring the problem, hoping it will go away. But there's more to this than just her.
There are reasons I'm having such a difficult time dealing with this that clearly are internal.
I learned with her that I am emotionally ready and willing to be a husband, but I'm not financially. That doesn't make me much of a catch out here. That's a big insecurity.
I'm living the life of an artist, but have not created anything in a year. I have several ideas - but am terrified I won't be able to execute them - for them to be what I hope they could be.
I really don't think I'm as good a writer as I'm given credit for. Good writers have discipline. Good writers can re-write. That's super tough for me - to spot flaws in my stories and be able to fix them. I'm in constant need of an editor.
It's raining now - and grey - it's the season for it. Which won't help my mood.
I don't know how to be happy. Should it make me jump for joy simply for me to know that I'm a good person with a good heart, considerate and polite? That I can make people laugh?
I've never been one of those "count your blessings" kind of guys. Maybe I should become one?
Please, if there is a God, don't let me call her or contact her. Please let me see how bad she was for me. Please help me let her go. Please help me to move on.
Valentine's Day was hard. It's really starting to sink in that we're not a part of each other's lives anymore. More than anything, I just miss talking to her. She made me laugh more than any woman ever has and I loved her voice.
Every day is a test. Sometimes I think I've got a grip - other times I feel like I'm just ignoring the problem, hoping it will go away. But there's more to this than just her.
There are reasons I'm having such a difficult time dealing with this that clearly are internal.
I learned with her that I am emotionally ready and willing to be a husband, but I'm not financially. That doesn't make me much of a catch out here. That's a big insecurity.
I'm living the life of an artist, but have not created anything in a year. I have several ideas - but am terrified I won't be able to execute them - for them to be what I hope they could be.
I really don't think I'm as good a writer as I'm given credit for. Good writers have discipline. Good writers can re-write. That's super tough for me - to spot flaws in my stories and be able to fix them. I'm in constant need of an editor.
It's raining now - and grey - it's the season for it. Which won't help my mood.
I don't know how to be happy. Should it make me jump for joy simply for me to know that I'm a good person with a good heart, considerate and polite? That I can make people laugh?
I've never been one of those "count your blessings" kind of guys. Maybe I should become one?
Please, if there is a God, don't let me call her or contact her. Please let me see how bad she was for me. Please help me let her go. Please help me to move on.
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how's your weekend been so far, you did have quite a few stuff coming up i know. puss!