I feel guilty for not responding to others on my friends list who are having life difficulties right now - most of them much more serious than mine.
Am just as self-absorbed as she is?
I know that I am a considerate person and courteous - and compassionate. She has none of those characteristics.
I ignored her character - why? Because it was nice to feel loved by her? By anyone? It had been 5 years prior to meeting her since my last relationship. Was I just desperate? Probably a factor. That's pretty unattractive.
I have to face some pretty ugly truths about myself in order to get out of this, I think.
Last month she said it felt like I was looking for a reason to break up with her. She was right - I had suspected the cheating and wanted to catch her. Is that because I wanted to be right? Justified? Or did I just already know she wasn't the girl for me and didn't have to courage to say so without a concrete reason?
I am making an appointment with a therapist today.
I'm tired of all the questions and obsessing about her. It has been the only thing on my mind - every waking hour - for months. It has affected my other relationships and my work.
Even without the cheating and lying - she was not the right girl for me.
Why can't I let it go? Anyone have any tips?
And thanks for getting this far - and allowing me to continue taking up your valuable time with my crap.
Am just as self-absorbed as she is?
I know that I am a considerate person and courteous - and compassionate. She has none of those characteristics.
I ignored her character - why? Because it was nice to feel loved by her? By anyone? It had been 5 years prior to meeting her since my last relationship. Was I just desperate? Probably a factor. That's pretty unattractive.
I have to face some pretty ugly truths about myself in order to get out of this, I think.
Last month she said it felt like I was looking for a reason to break up with her. She was right - I had suspected the cheating and wanted to catch her. Is that because I wanted to be right? Justified? Or did I just already know she wasn't the girl for me and didn't have to courage to say so without a concrete reason?
I am making an appointment with a therapist today.
I'm tired of all the questions and obsessing about her. It has been the only thing on my mind - every waking hour - for months. It has affected my other relationships and my work.
Even without the cheating and lying - she was not the right girl for me.
Why can't I let it go? Anyone have any tips?
And thanks for getting this far - and allowing me to continue taking up your valuable time with my crap.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Hang tough.
to sort out the lies
it's worse to try to understand
-type o negative "i know you're fucking someone else"
now, the boys from brooklyn (that's type o negative in case you didn't know) aren't much on waxing eloquent, but the particular song those bars come from is perhaps the rawest, uglliest, blunt intrumentest, truest "she fucked me over" song in the history of "she fucked me over" songs.
if you have gmail i'll email it to you. it won't give you any insight and will probably twist the knife a little, but like a bullet wound or road rash, it always hurts more when you're excising the foreign, poisonous material in order to heal.
-pb