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anti_

Irvine, CA

Member Since 2008

Followers 215 Following 431

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Thursday May 10, 2012

May 9, 2012
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I saw myself today, as one who is solemn, but an enemy to my own spirit. With a swelled chest like one who holds his breath, decked out with ugly truths, the spoil of my hunting still on my breath, resplendent in tattered garments; Many thorns adorn me - yet I saw no rose.

As yet I have not learned laughter or beauty. Gloomy, I returned from the hunt for knowledge, and behind my seriousness there remained a savage beast - one not yet overcome. I still stand like a tiger who wants to leap, and I despise that tension to which I withdrew.

I have grown tired of my sublimity. I want beauty to commence; Only then will I find myself palatable. If I can turn away from myself, and jump over my shadow and into my sun. Too long I've sat in my shadow, and my cheeks have grown pale. Contempt is still in my eyes, and nausea hides around my mouth. My eyes are still dark; The shadow of my regret shades them. My sight is still in shadows. My deeds themselves lie on me as a shadow.

I have not yet overcome my will. Only when it is discarded can I elevate myself above sublimity. I have subdued monsters & solved riddles; but I must still redeem my own monsters & riddles, changing them into virtues. My knowledge has not yet learned to smile and to be without jealousy; As yet, my torrential passion has not become still in beauty. But I do long for it. I will strive for it. I will be it.

My violent will cannot attain beauty by it's exertions. A tempered mildness is what matters most here. To stand with relaxed muscles & unharnessed will: That is what has been most difficult.

My will to power must become gracious; Let kindness become my self-conquest. I have deemed myself capable of all evil, therefore I must make myself capable of all good. Not that I would have myself transformed into a weakling who thinks himself virtuous because he has no claws. I will strive for the virtue of a Grecian column; It grows more beautiful and gentle, but internally harder and more enduring as it ascends.

Only when a man abandons his pride, can his soul be courted by his overman.

KATA TON DAIMONA EAYTOY
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
talamia:
A very moving read, very relatable feelings...
May 15, 2012
jennna:
<3
May 15, 2012

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