I just got back from walking down the pier on the north side of the city. I've came to the conclusion that I really want to change my life around, atleast in the personal/sexual side of it. I've fucked around and hurt so many girls, I need to stop. Tonight was no different, or the night before, the same consequence but different girls. I feel so bad about everything I do now.
She went down on me in the park, I don't remember her name. I'm sick of this.
It's so easy to type of all this, just flowing from my fingertips onto my laptop. Oh, how I love to write on my laptop, everything is so much smoother for me than when I have a pen and paper. Is it sad that I can type quicker than I can read? I choose to do everything I can on my laptop now..
Back to the main point of this:
I want to change. I need a girl that will hold my attention, but truthtfully, I think that I need to force myself to stick with someone even if I don't want to be with them. Just settle for someone at the moment, just to get that first, solid relationship out of the way and set myself up for something more meaningful. I just don't know how to go about it. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing myself to be with someone, but I know that I need something concrete in that department.
I never tell anyone the true number, but then again, no one reads this journal of mine, so I can rant all I want.
Seventeen girls in three years ; Three girls in three weeks. One night alone on the boardwalk to realize the wrong.
She went down on me in the park, I don't remember her name. I'm sick of this.
It's so easy to type of all this, just flowing from my fingertips onto my laptop. Oh, how I love to write on my laptop, everything is so much smoother for me than when I have a pen and paper. Is it sad that I can type quicker than I can read? I choose to do everything I can on my laptop now..
Back to the main point of this:
I want to change. I need a girl that will hold my attention, but truthtfully, I think that I need to force myself to stick with someone even if I don't want to be with them. Just settle for someone at the moment, just to get that first, solid relationship out of the way and set myself up for something more meaningful. I just don't know how to go about it. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing myself to be with someone, but I know that I need something concrete in that department.
I never tell anyone the true number, but then again, no one reads this journal of mine, so I can rant all I want.
Seventeen girls in three years ; Three girls in three weeks. One night alone on the boardwalk to realize the wrong.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
chan:
i think you sound interesting too. AIM?
niobe:
That's awesome. 