I'm waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime
Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time
Cos at 5 o'clock they take me to the Gallows Pole
The sands of time for me are running low
When the priest comes to read me the last rites
I take a look through the bars at the last sights
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me
Can it be there's some sort of error
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end not some crazy dream
Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming
It's not so easy to stop from screaming
But words escape me when I try to speak
Tears they flow but why am I crying
After all I am not afraid of dying
Don't believe that there is never an end
As the guards march me out to the courtyard
Someone calls from a cell "God be with you"
If there's a God then why has he let me die?
As I walk all my life drifts before me
And though the end is near I'm not sorry
Catch my soul cos it's willing to fly away
Mark my words please believe my soul lives on
Please don't worry now that I have gone
I've gone beyond to see the truth
When you know that your time is close at hand
maybe then you'll begin to understand
Life down there is just a strange illusion.
Fri 10/14/05
Im starting 2 house sit 4 my ex alicia, bc she left town 4 a week and she didnt want her cats 2 by themself or be by her mother house 4 the reason she does like moving them around. Well their nothing 2 do here but watch tv and movie. Their no internet and it sucks. Well hope lucie come over 2morring 2 watch a movie . god I love have her a friend god she had to one of the only ppl I love 2 have in my life. Danni is another but no matter what me and danni will be friend 4ever bc we love each other like that.
Sat 10/15/05
day 2 of house sitting god I hate this bc there no 2 hang out with lucie has 2 wake up like at 5 2morrow so that she go see die grandmother grave bc it been a year sin her pasting then she has 2 go 2 work at 2. I can under stand the reason she does this bc I have the same bound with my gram.
But 2 the real point of why I writing 2 day. That I have doubt for the first time in my life. I hate have this in my head I want so much but have so Lil at this point. It creep in 2 my head while I was house sitting I never thought it would but it do. But I fought it off. But most like come back.
Ive also been think about the women Ive loved or thought I have. It weird bc the one that I know I loved didnt want me god it sucks to find that person and have then be Ur. but that life it give and take & that been how my life is al l way been 4 me. First by my dad leave my family 2 start a new one but no hate at him, but at the action that he did 2 do it. I sit by myself 4 the first in my life and c the truth in my I have 2 fix myself be4 look 4 other .
There been only been 3 ppl that I felt that I have been close 2. But 1st the was lucie we came from some what the same background but her path was hard that my. The next was danni she been there 4 me when I need it the most every time. The final one was Melissa she was diff from all the rest at first she loved me like no other and it slowly die & I dont know why. This is the million dollar question 4 me what is wrong with me that none want me. 4 any one of these women I would give my heart my soul my life 4 them. But, danni is a friend and that it but Id do that 4 her
From the coast of gold, across the seven seas
I'm travellin' on, far and wide
But now it seems, I'm just a stranger to myself
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but
someone else
I close my eyes, and think of home
Another city goes by in the night
Ain't it funny how it is, you never miss it 'til it's
gone away
And my heart is lying there and will be 'til my
dying day
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for
those wasted years
Face up... make your stand
And realise you're living in the golden years
Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind
Can't ease this pain, so easily
When you can't find the words to say it's hard to
make it through another day
And it makes me wanna cry and throw my
hands up to the sky
Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time
Cos at 5 o'clock they take me to the Gallows Pole
The sands of time for me are running low
When the priest comes to read me the last rites
I take a look through the bars at the last sights
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me
Can it be there's some sort of error
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end not some crazy dream
Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming
It's not so easy to stop from screaming
But words escape me when I try to speak
Tears they flow but why am I crying
After all I am not afraid of dying
Don't believe that there is never an end
As the guards march me out to the courtyard
Someone calls from a cell "God be with you"
If there's a God then why has he let me die?
As I walk all my life drifts before me
And though the end is near I'm not sorry
Catch my soul cos it's willing to fly away
Mark my words please believe my soul lives on
Please don't worry now that I have gone
I've gone beyond to see the truth
When you know that your time is close at hand
maybe then you'll begin to understand
Life down there is just a strange illusion.
Fri 10/14/05
Im starting 2 house sit 4 my ex alicia, bc she left town 4 a week and she didnt want her cats 2 by themself or be by her mother house 4 the reason she does like moving them around. Well their nothing 2 do here but watch tv and movie. Their no internet and it sucks. Well hope lucie come over 2morring 2 watch a movie . god I love have her a friend god she had to one of the only ppl I love 2 have in my life. Danni is another but no matter what me and danni will be friend 4ever bc we love each other like that.
Sat 10/15/05
day 2 of house sitting god I hate this bc there no 2 hang out with lucie has 2 wake up like at 5 2morrow so that she go see die grandmother grave bc it been a year sin her pasting then she has 2 go 2 work at 2. I can under stand the reason she does this bc I have the same bound with my gram.
But 2 the real point of why I writing 2 day. That I have doubt for the first time in my life. I hate have this in my head I want so much but have so Lil at this point. It creep in 2 my head while I was house sitting I never thought it would but it do. But I fought it off. But most like come back.
Ive also been think about the women Ive loved or thought I have. It weird bc the one that I know I loved didnt want me god it sucks to find that person and have then be Ur. but that life it give and take & that been how my life is al l way been 4 me. First by my dad leave my family 2 start a new one but no hate at him, but at the action that he did 2 do it. I sit by myself 4 the first in my life and c the truth in my I have 2 fix myself be4 look 4 other .
There been only been 3 ppl that I felt that I have been close 2. But 1st the was lucie we came from some what the same background but her path was hard that my. The next was danni she been there 4 me when I need it the most every time. The final one was Melissa she was diff from all the rest at first she loved me like no other and it slowly die & I dont know why. This is the million dollar question 4 me what is wrong with me that none want me. 4 any one of these women I would give my heart my soul my life 4 them. But, danni is a friend and that it but Id do that 4 her
From the coast of gold, across the seven seas
I'm travellin' on, far and wide
But now it seems, I'm just a stranger to myself
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but
someone else
I close my eyes, and think of home
Another city goes by in the night
Ain't it funny how it is, you never miss it 'til it's
gone away
And my heart is lying there and will be 'til my
dying day
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for
those wasted years
Face up... make your stand
And realise you're living in the golden years
Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind
Can't ease this pain, so easily
When you can't find the words to say it's hard to
make it through another day
And it makes me wanna cry and throw my
hands up to the sky