anteros

One for the "Let's Not Do That Again" file

I finally got free time and weather to cooperate so I could take the bike out on Sunday and headed down for a local lunch gathering of 100 or so two-wheel enthusiasts. To get there, I had to pass through the slow but scenic 35 mph zone that is Valley Forge Park. No sooner than I slowed down and entered the park did I get hit in the neck by some flying object. No big deal, if you've been riding longer than 5 minutes you know that you're bound to catch something (rock, bug, whatever), except that this something went right down my shirt and began to move . Well, that caused a bit of a wobble as I began to attempt to lift my shirt to let it out. Ok, wiggling stopped...it must be gone, let go of shirt, get stung on the stomach . If the first wobble wasn't enough, imagine what it was like as I alternately beat myself to death and tried to get this evil insect out of my shirt. More slowing down so I don't kill myself, more self flagellation and finally, no movement from the beast. Let go of shirt, begin to accelerate and promptly get stung again . That's it, downshift and haul ass to the first place I can pull over. I slid into a parking area at about 65mph (remember this is a 35 mph zone) to the dismay of those enjoying a relaxing sunny Sunday in the park, shut off the bike and dismounted as quickly as possibly to begin a frenzied self attack that must surely have looked like demonic possession. Too mad to care about the possibility of another sting , I searched for the offending critter and felt a satisfying crunch of exoskeleton as I ended the life of the little bugger. It was only then that I realized I had company in the form of a none-too-pleased Park Ranger. The first words from his mouth were "What the hell are you doing?". Thankfully, this was just at the moment that I turned out the inside of my shirt to reveal the remains of one very dead yellow jacket. When the Ranger saw that, he nearly split a gut laughing. Normally, I'm not too keen on being laughed at by people I don't know, but this WAS kinda funny. Turns out, he had been behind me since the first wobble and had seen the whole thing...thought I must be wacked out of my mind. He stopped laughing long enough to tell me to slow it down and avoid stinging insects, then walked back to his car chuckling again and left. I rode off, half laughing myself, and met up with my friends for lunch and to tell the tale. Afterwards, several of us went for a ~100 mile ride to escape the heat and, as I promised the Ranger, I avoided stinging insects. See you on the road...