So this is my second go-round with staying up through the night. Hopefully this time will be different than last-- I fell asleep on my bed shortly after eating Frosted Flakes at nine in the morning. I've done nothing but listen to my iPod since three a.m. I don't even remember buying Pretty Girls Make Graves "album" "Good Health." Well actually I do, but I don't recall it sounding as great as it does now...perhaps it is the insomnia.
There are times that I hate being home. Case in point would be today as a whole. My sister had some major drama at the dermatologist as the "good Dr." was a complete bitch to her. Then my dad got pissed at himself for refering her to that doctor instead of her usual one (he had a falling out with the DBC) and his even more irate that he now must pay for her to see the dermatologists at the DBC. A long history of his falling out would be appropriate, but there are some things best left untold *wink*.
Then my sister and father both lash out towards my mom. Christ, I feel so fucking sorry for her. If there was one person so giving and selfless on this earth it is her. She really does all that is in her power to accomodate others, but when it comes to my sister and father, they just completely ignore her efforts and act like assholes. Again, more family drama that has far too much history to be told in this journal entry.
Dinner was pretty damn silent. My dad didn't even show up and when she was finished eating, my mom went downstairs and slept in the guestroom for three hours. I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.
Before a walk with Lindsey, my sister, we checked our grades from the wonderful shithole that is the University of Montana, and we both pulled 4.0s!!! I'm pretty fucking excited, but somehow I'm not as thrilled as I would be. I guess a rough analogy would be like Roger Maris' home run record, with an astirik. Except mine would read "with the heaviest heart, full of perpetual sorrow, I managed this." Oh, how melodramatic. Seriously though, this past semester was the most difficult three-and-a-half months in my life. No need to respond on this paragraph.
I digress, I went on a walk with Lindsey mostly to get out of the house (no arguing last night) and see the stars in their radiant beauty. There are times when simple things like a moonlit walk (regardless if my sister is there or not) that make me extremely content with the world at large. One day, mark my words, I will walk with a beautiful young lady who will be referred to by the monacker of "my girlfriend" by moonlight...and it will be the most beautiful moment of my life.
Sometimes I think I write far "too much" in this journals, as if I'll regret them after I submit them. However, I have already made my "New Year's Resolution:" To actually act on impulse, to say "fuck you regret" and talk to girls, to put myself out there on the limb and be me. Because it's always better to regret something you've done, than something you didn't do.
There are times that I hate being home. Case in point would be today as a whole. My sister had some major drama at the dermatologist as the "good Dr." was a complete bitch to her. Then my dad got pissed at himself for refering her to that doctor instead of her usual one (he had a falling out with the DBC) and his even more irate that he now must pay for her to see the dermatologists at the DBC. A long history of his falling out would be appropriate, but there are some things best left untold *wink*.
Then my sister and father both lash out towards my mom. Christ, I feel so fucking sorry for her. If there was one person so giving and selfless on this earth it is her. She really does all that is in her power to accomodate others, but when it comes to my sister and father, they just completely ignore her efforts and act like assholes. Again, more family drama that has far too much history to be told in this journal entry.
Dinner was pretty damn silent. My dad didn't even show up and when she was finished eating, my mom went downstairs and slept in the guestroom for three hours. I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen.
Before a walk with Lindsey, my sister, we checked our grades from the wonderful shithole that is the University of Montana, and we both pulled 4.0s!!! I'm pretty fucking excited, but somehow I'm not as thrilled as I would be. I guess a rough analogy would be like Roger Maris' home run record, with an astirik. Except mine would read "with the heaviest heart, full of perpetual sorrow, I managed this." Oh, how melodramatic. Seriously though, this past semester was the most difficult three-and-a-half months in my life. No need to respond on this paragraph.
I digress, I went on a walk with Lindsey mostly to get out of the house (no arguing last night) and see the stars in their radiant beauty. There are times when simple things like a moonlit walk (regardless if my sister is there or not) that make me extremely content with the world at large. One day, mark my words, I will walk with a beautiful young lady who will be referred to by the monacker of "my girlfriend" by moonlight...and it will be the most beautiful moment of my life.
Sometimes I think I write far "too much" in this journals, as if I'll regret them after I submit them. However, I have already made my "New Year's Resolution:" To actually act on impulse, to say "fuck you regret" and talk to girls, to put myself out there on the limb and be me. Because it's always better to regret something you've done, than something you didn't do.
xmilitaryxmikex:
Sounds like you're planning to live like I do, except I try to minimize the regrets I have, honestly. I'm there with you on the long history of family troubles, though.
chetbroke:
ya i gotta work on that girl thing myself