antenna

Some jokes, penned by Olly 'Ninjaman' Wright, forwarded by Mark 'Ninjaman' Jackson. They made Ninjaman.

P.S. Go to Olly's Myspace page to see two karaoke videos we made a while back (2 of which also feature SG's Nic and Nadine).

(note: real update tomorrow, probably)

1 Where do wasps go when they're ill? waspital
2 Where do horses go when they're ill? horspital
3 Where do hammers go when they're ill? hospitool
4 Where do idiots go when they're ill? the office, and then spread their stupid germs around
5 Where do garden tools go when they're ill? hospitrowel
6 Where do boiled sweets go when they're ill? sugary (surgery)
7 Where does saliva go when it's ill? ho-spit-al
8 Where do kebabs go when they're ill? hos-pita-l
9 Where do big people go when they're ill? hospitall
10 Where do ladies of the night go when they're ill? whorspital
11 Where do American ladies of the night go when they're ill? hoespital
12 Where do people called Peter go when they're ill? hos-peter-ill
13 Where does everyone go when they're ill? hospit-all
14 Where do people who lose their voices go when they're ill? hoarsepital
15 Where do dyslexic people go when they're ill? pisthopa
16 Where do digging implements go when they're ill? hospade-al
19 Where do towels go when they're ill? hospitowel
20 Where do towels and dental string go when they're ill? flosspitowel
21 Where do rabbits go when they're ill? harespital / hopsital
22 Where do follicles go when they're ill? hairspital
23 Where do soldiers go when they're ill? warspital
24 Where do J-Lo & LL Cool J go when they're ill? Hozzzzz zzzzzz z z z z z z z zzzzz pital
25 Where do blondes go when they're ill? just a normal hospital like everyone else
26 Where do ghosts go when they're ill? horrorspital / hospi-ghoul
27 Where do holes go when they're ill? hos-pit-al
29 Where do posh people go when they're ill? Bupa
30 Where do cashiers go when they're ill? hospi-till
31 Where do hypochondriacs go when they're ill? they're not really ill
32 Where do kangaroos go when they're ill? hops-pital
33 Where do firemen go when they're ill? hosepital
37 Where does your mum go when she's ill? the crackhouse, like she does every day
38 Where do secret keepers go when they're ill? they won't tell
39 Where do famous go when they're ill? who's-who's-pital
40 Where do flowers go when they're ill? hos-petal
41 Where do animal right's people go when they're ill? hos-PETA-l
42 Where do Greek people go when they're ill? hospitalopodopolopodis
43 Where do hunting people go when they're ill? hospitally-ho
44 Where does James Bond go when he's hill? Ho-spy-tal
45 Where do bugs go when they're ill? Ho-spider-ll
46 Where does a James Bond action figure go when he's ill? Ho-spy-doll
47 Where do comedians go when they're ill? ha-haspital
48 Where do bins from Texas that you spit in go when they're ill? ho-spitoon
49 Where does Santa go when he's ill? ho-ho-spital
50 Where do people called George go when they're ill? go and ask George
51 Where do cold people go when they're ill? hospi-cool / frostpital
52 Where do ice lollies go when they're ill? popsical (sorry)
53 Where do healthy people go when they're ill? they don't get ill
54 Where do people who look at dog poo go when they're ill? they see a dog-turd (doctor)
55 Where do rock fans go when they're ill? mosh-pit-al
56 Where do hurricanes go when they're ill? hospitwirl
57 Where do people who talk about animal urine go when they're ill? horse-pee-tell
58 Where do Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr go when they're ill? hos-beatle
59 Where does your girlfriend go when she's ill? you haven't got one
60 Where do Indians go when they're ill? hos-patel
61 If John Thaw were alive, but ill, Where would he go? morse-pital
62 But since he's not, what do we feel? remorse-pital
63 Where does Snoop Dogg go when he's ill? hospizzle / the vet
64 Where do people with pink hair go when they're ill? hospi-troll
69 Where do things that make cars pay to go across a bridge go when they're ill? hospi-toll
70 Where do gangsters' girlfriends go when they're ill? hospi-moll
71 Where does you dad go when he's ill? who knows, he could be anyone
72 Where do dead go when they're ill? hearsepital
73 Where do rowers go when they're ill? oarspital
74 Where do lemons go when they're ill? I don't know, probably hospi-lemon or something
75 Where do lazy people go when they're ill? dosspital
76 Where do Matt and Luke go when they're ill? brospital / gosspital
77 Where do people who can't find hospitals go when they're ill? lost-pital
78 Where do goblins go when they're ill? national elf service
79 Where do places you live go when they're ill? housepital
80 Where do the insects who live with you go when they're ill? house-beetle
81 Where do people who look at amazing urine go when they're ill? they see a gee-pee
82 Where does the Fonz go when he's ill? hospi-cool / a hospice (since he's about 90 years old)
83 Where do people with measles go when they're ill? they're always ill, they've got measles
87 Where do pieces of evidence go when they're ill? a trained proof-essional
88 Where do models go when they're ill? hospi-doll
89 Where do indescriminate board game player go when they're ill? any chess (NHS)
90 Where do people who like boobs made of legs go when they're ill? a knee chest (NHS)
91 Where do attractive nutters go when they're ill? a mental insti-cute
92 Where do crazy shoes go when they're ill? a mental insti-boot
95 Where do mad teeth that get thrown away go when they're ill? a dental bin-stitute
96 Where do good hosts go when they're ill? hospitable
97 Where does Napoleon Dynamite go when he's ill? GOSH-pital
98 Where do narcoleptics go when they're ill? hozzzzzzzpital
99 Where do people who lose their legs go when they're ill? has-been-tall
100 Where do violent people go when they're ill? has-beat-all