I'm leavin' on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again...
Oh, wait! I totally do. I'll be leaving tomorrow for Miami International Airport at 6:30 am. And I will return late Saturday. I'm spending SPRING BREAK in New York City. Wait, excuse me. I have to go play "I Happen To Like New York" by Judy Garland because I am a total fag.
I happen to liiiiike New York.
I happen to like this town.
I like the city air
I like to drink of it
The more I know New York
The more I think of it
I like the sight and the sound
And even the stink of it
I happen to like New York
Okay, I'm done. Hey, didn't John Denver die in a plane crash? Yeah, I guess he wouldn't know when he'd be back. Like, never. Unless he's a ghost or guardian angel or something like that. That was a delayed reaction. Okay, my airplane will not crash. Because John Denver is my guardian angel and will keep it aloft and I will not crash on an island with some grody dude named Ethan who hunts down pregnant chicks and tries to hang hobbits.
Wait, I'm not done. She got to the part where she is makes fun of New Jersey.
Last Sunday afternoon
I took a trip to Hackensack
But after I gave Hackensack the once-over
I took the next train back
Okay, NOW I am done. Anyhoodle, I will take in a few shows. I spent a ridonkulous amount of money on a single ticket for Spamalot because it was sold out. So I had to buy it "above-price" or whatever, but... Monty Python. I met my best pals in junior high through our shared love of the Python. Yeah, I'm a nerd. Fuck you. I can't wait. Oh, and I shall see Shockheaded Peter because j'adore The Tiger Lilies. Also, I will see Avenue Q again because I love that show. It made me cry so hard. And laugh. And, oh, I'm so close to graduating. I'll be sobbing before they even get to "I Wish I Could Go Back to College":
I wish I could go back to college.
In college you know who you are.
You sit in the quad, and think, "Oh my God!
I am totally gonna go far!"
How do I go back to college?
I don't know who I am anymore!
I wanna go back to my room and find a message in dry-erase pen on the door!
Ohhh...
I wish I could just drop a class...
Or get into a play...
Or change my major...
Or fuck my T.A.
I need an academic advisor to point the way!
We could be...
Sitting in the computer lab,
4 A.M. before the final paper is due,
Cursing the world 'cause I didn't start sooner,
And seeing the rest of the class there, too!
I wish I could go back to college!
How do I go back to college?!
I wish I had taken more pictures.
But if I were to go back to college,
Think what a loser I'd be-
I'd walk through the quad,
And think "Oh my God..."
"These kids are so much younger than me."
Awww.
I also have tickets to Newsical because Michael Musto writes a new version of a song every week based on that week's gossip. Awesome!
Oh, and I'll be interviewing splixx. I have totally not prepared any questions. I probably shouldn't admit that.
Oooohhhh, I bought a membership to MoMA because I want to bypass long lines. Yeah. I'm wasteful like that. I also need to check out the Whitney because there's a Cy Twombly thing going on there, and I like him. Louise Bourgeois is in one of those museums. In a museum. Somewhere. I don't know. I like her, too. I saw her work at MOCA recently. She's a fascinating lady. 93 years old and still making creepy art. I also have to go to the Museum of Sex because the text book for my human sexuality class mentions it. I should go. Bring back brochures for my professor. Win brownie points.
Wow, I am not writing complete sentences. That's bad, y'all.
I am excited about New York.
picks out the wine for you?
>How do you feel about Tim Hawkinson?
he is not the enemy and is occasionally even good. this is glowing praise coming from me.
>I need to transcribe the interview a little bit. Give me some >time.
NO!!!! I MUST HAVE MY OWN EXPERIENCE REFLECTED BACK AT ME IMMEDIATELY TO MAINTAIN THE INSIDE-OUT DISCO-GLOBE WORLD I'VE CREATED FOR MYSELF! MUSH! MUSH!
not
>I caught a cold on the germobile jet.
what's that?
You were my first friend on SG.