Y'all, this is going to be a short little entry because I am off to my friend's house to preview a gay art porn that will be out on DVD in September. (Or we'll go to the Shaq party if we can figure out where it is.) He (my friend, not Shaq) got a screener DVD because he's fucking someone. That's how people get screeners, you know. They fuck people. I'm telling you, the Oscar committee is full of fucksluts. Anyhoo, Bruce Labruce may be a pretentious fuck, but I can watch his boys fellate guns and fuck each other up the ass for eternity and never get bored. It's weird, because my playlist just pulled up "Anonymous Gay Sex" by The 1985. Synergy!

Anyway, I am writing this entry because I am proud of this report. Just so you know how long it takes for this shit to go up, that party happened last Saturday, and I emailed the dirt on Sunday, and it only went up today. "White man's overbite" is mine, mine, mine. I still don't know how I got into Vin Diesel's birthday party. I couldn't get into Missy Elliot's party, so I went down the way to Mansion. Mansion, in the hierarchy of Opium Group clubs, is like the ugly redheaded stepchild of nightclubs. It's the club where the reality TV "stars" host "parties" and... how do you say? Oh, yes! SUCK ASS. Unless Yoanna House decides to host a party, because she rules, and she should host a party at the Opium Den because she is too good for Mansion. Anyway, I went to Mansion when I couldn't get into Priv because of a "guest list," and Dennis Rodman was up onstage getting something tattooed on his chest. I got money for reporting that, too, and for simply saying that Missy Elliot's party at Priv had a "strict guest list." "Strict guest list" translates to "I couldn't get in."

Yeah. I'm writing about this shit because I'm going to stop stringing dirt. It's... kind of dumb.

Boo.