anomaly

I thought i was happy. Happy to finally be with someone who appreciates me. Someone who actually made an effort into seeing me. Someone who actually makes me happy. But then that spark just went away. I hate myself for always making the same mistake. For always having some sort of hope. I feel worthless, unhappy & i really dont know what to do. I always try to make it work but it seems like my words dont matter. My weakness is that i care too much. I have done everything i could to make him happy. I feel like its never enough. But when it comes to my happiness nothing is done. His pride gets the best of him. I sometimes feel like im not in a relationship. Everyone hates him for the simple fact that he doesnt know how to be a boyfriend. I for once want to be happy. He is so effortless. I sometimes feel like i rather be in a relationship with myself. At first he thought it was cool that i was a suicidegirl he would always make a joke about starting suicide boys. & now i cannot mention anything that has to do with modeling. Photography. I dont like doing photoshoots & having to hide it from him. But when i try talking to him about how he makes me feel i get the "im not gonna change for anyone blah blah appreciate who i am" but he cant appreciate me. Shit sucks when your stuck. Because you know that, that spark is still there, somewhere. Im slowly giving up. & its sad.