Gah. I must be getting old - I had a bad dream and woke up with heartburn from pizza that I had at least ten hours ago. Funny thing is, I woke up so angry because I had a dream about the bad guy (ex) that I came online to rant about it and blow off steam. Instead I got an email from the good guy, and felt instantly better.
It's wierd to have to remind myself that I don't need to waste energy being angry or upset at someone anymore. Not that I ever NEEDED to, but in the past I needed to brace myself for the next (not literal) blow.
Read a philosophy essay today about what makes friendships admirable (probably why I had the relationship dream). Good friendships involve both people mutually caring for the needs of their freind in addition to their own needs. Obviously if you're both just in it for pleasure it's no good, but neither is it good for one person to care about the other's needs above their own without getting that same interest and concern back. That is what I am used to, what I am still prone to. I know he is fucked up beyond belief, which is why I still made the attempt to communicate with him as a friend, but it's unhealthy for me even to express concern for him because I don't get a shred of that back.
In the wee small hours of the morning... too much verbal jerking off occurs. Ah well. I'm taking an alka-seltzer and going to bed. What an old lady.
It's wierd to have to remind myself that I don't need to waste energy being angry or upset at someone anymore. Not that I ever NEEDED to, but in the past I needed to brace myself for the next (not literal) blow.
Read a philosophy essay today about what makes friendships admirable (probably why I had the relationship dream). Good friendships involve both people mutually caring for the needs of their freind in addition to their own needs. Obviously if you're both just in it for pleasure it's no good, but neither is it good for one person to care about the other's needs above their own without getting that same interest and concern back. That is what I am used to, what I am still prone to. I know he is fucked up beyond belief, which is why I still made the attempt to communicate with him as a friend, but it's unhealthy for me even to express concern for him because I don't get a shred of that back.
In the wee small hours of the morning... too much verbal jerking off occurs. Ah well. I'm taking an alka-seltzer and going to bed. What an old lady.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
From your description of relationships, it sounds like you're grown up enough to know when to walk away from a bad situation. Again, that doesn't make you old, just wise.
*************
I had to get rid of my comic stuff (am still in the long long process) because a) I can't afford to collect comics anymore and b)selling all this stuff on eBay will allow me to pay off some credit card debt. (talk about being an old lady...sheesh.)
Thank you very much for the kind compliment...