anna

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

my sister thinks that unicorns are evil
we had a discussion recently, convincing arguments were made, and ive joined the dark side
i tried to image google 'evil unicorn' to find some support, but this was the first result and i quickly became sidetracked looking at computer generated pornography:


this portion of the entry has been spoiler-ized due to SSP(severe self pity)-related content

saturday nite i was lying alone in a hotel bed in detroit after a long, physically and emotionally exhausting day. i lay on my back with my arms stretched out and my eyes fixed on the ceiling. what was running through my mind or whether i was thinking at all, i dont remember, but i was suddenly overcome with the sense that i had been placed there, in that city, in that hotel, in that bed. that i was a foreign object, that i was seperate from everything else that exists. that i was transferable, that nothing in my world is cohesive, that the bonds that hold each object and each emotion and each event to their respective position in life are nonexistant, they are false, and that we somehow manage to go through every day living, unaware of this. i was then convinced that if i had enough of something; if i felt it enough or if i thought it enough or if i wanted it enough, that i could remove myself from that bed, from that room, from that hotel, that time and space are lies and that i am capable and in control of more than i could have ever imagined.

i didnt find whatever i was searching for that nite; i think that adding intense revelation to a combination of physical exhaustion and booze was too much for my heavy heart. but i hope this isnt the last time it comes to visit, because it is the most real thing i have ever felt in my life.