thats terrifying, isnt it? no, not the expression. the fact that im saying 'omfg.' i despise internet lingo. i dont care how intelligent you are, if you have to use 'u' instead of 'you', or '2' in place of 'to', or - and this one just blows my mind - 'ne1' instead of 'anyone'.... it just makes you sound really really dumb. im not calling anyone dumb, im just saying, it might be a good idea to stop typing like a 10 year old in a hilary duff chat room, lest your intelligence be read as such.
the internet lingo is horrible, yes. but this is worse...
so, what do you think?
colon-rectal exam gone horribly, horribly wrong?
does anna have an overactive menstrual cycle?
when im riding the crimson wave, i like to tell people 'sorry. im not feeling so well, because im bleeding from my vagina.' that was in the onion some time ago, under 'favorite euphemisms for pms.' speaking of the onion, i read and thoroughly enjoyed
this article today. perhaps you have to have had jesus shoved down your throat your entire life to really appreciate it, i dont know. but its funny to me.
anyways, no way, a-holes! youre all wrong! (yeah, i said a-holes. you wanna fight about it? im feeling pretty feisty today. rawwwwwr) i dyed my hair. and the dye looked exactly like menstrual blood. except sometimes its a little chunkier than that. just some info for those of you who may not have known. i know its revolting, but hey, thats life. im here to teach you cold, hard facts like these. life is rough out here on the streets; sometimes people get stabbed. and sometimes their vaginas bleed.
yep. im a redhead! fun! i enjoy it, and it looks damn good on me, if i may say so myself.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
im going to boston in april! im excited, it will be my first time. andy was already going to visit berklee, though i dont know why because hes already been there and has been accepted. i think he just wants to get out of ohio for a bit, and dear god who wouldnt. some of you may remember andy, my most recent boyfriend. i think i talked a lot about our adventures over the summer. it was a fucking amazing summer. well, it turns out we are better off as friends. and he is the most incredible friend anyone could ever ask for. he listens to me and he inspires me and most of all, he feeds me. i dont need a boy to buy me presents, ever. but i do love a boy who will buy me food. +1000 pts right there. anyway, i just felt the need to throw the love out there because i have a feeling he journal-stalks me
.
yes yes, boston. there are only about 30 schools in the country that offer an ma in art therapy, and ive *pretty much* narrowed it down to the art institute of chicago and lesley university. so im going to tag along with andy and visit lesley to help me along with my decision. ooooooo and also, i should be shooting an sg set with
Tmronin while im there!! as long as our schedules work out. im super excited about that one. still trying to figure out exactly what i want to do, though... ideas/suggestions? im just here to please all of you perverts.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
lots of things going on for anna in the sg realm... i will be working the sg booth at the hell city tattoo festival in columbus, may 12-14, along with several other lovely ladies. you simply must come visit if you are in the area. there is going to be way too much hotness at this damn booth, and youd be a fool to try to resist it. i will also be shooting a video with amina during the convention
so youll get to see me talk and do one of those little striptease things sometime in the near future! lucky you! there will also be a surprise. and no, im not telling.
last nite my parents told me that they are going to go to the grand canyon next month. they go out of state a few times a year, and i usually enjoy myself in their absence, as long as its only a few days. i would throw mad parties, and i have in the past, but i dont have any friends here. theyre all at school. erin went to a sex toy party last nite, and she thinks that we should have one of those. i think its a great idea! get some ladies together, drink a lot of wine, and mess around with sex toys. i will take pictures, and if you are nice, maybe i will share 
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
so i finally saw brokeback mountain last week. yeah, im behind the times. i cant help it, i cant keep up with you kids and your baggy slacks and backwards ballcaps. i really just dont know whats cool anymore, and i couldnt be happier that way. but i was intrigued by peer reviews and the possiblity of gay sex. i know, i know, it is a love story. im not completely shallow. i was touched. i cried. but i reallllllly liked seeing anne hathaways titties. i mean, wow. it only lasts a second, but i would have watched the princess diaries, both 1 & 2 in their entirety, if i were promised to get a flash at the end. they look THAT good. mostly though, the boy-on-boy action..... jesus christ.... several times it occurred to me that this movie should give 'private moments' in order for the viewer to recover from the sexual tension and allow themselves to actually focus on the movie. the strange thing is, if i would have seen this movie a year ago, i would have been like 'ehhhhh...... not really into the man-love.' but recently i have developed a serious fetish for bisexual boys. i have no idea where it came from. i tried to peer pressure andy into doing it with boys, but was unsuccessful. ive decided that if i ever have another boyfriend, he has to go both ways. and he doesnt even have to 'do it', necessarily. id be ok with oral. i just want to watch. ugh. i need to get laid really really badly.
ive also decided that he has to have a beard. well, some guys cant really grow a proper one. so as long as he has the capability of growing awesome facial hair, i will expect it done. and skinny. and over 6'. im also really attracted to guys that look dirty as hell. not dirty as in trashy, but as in literally dirty. like when theres a guy walking down the street and you kind of think he might be homeless, but youre not sure because hes not ranting about black people and gays, and you cant smell urine and whiskey from across the street. it kind of goes along with the beard thing, too. i really like this one:
yeah, hes an older guy, but so what? sometimes i find older men very attractive. i also tend to find 15 & 16 year old boys attractive, which is going to get me in trouble someday...
i think its great that this dear old italian man, gabriele meneguzzi, has perfected this popular myspace pose. he is obviously more emo than any one of us.
i also enjoy what gabriele writes about his beard on beards.org:
Gabriele Meneguzzi
Bearded since: 1975. I am a dedicated, permanent beard grower.
Comments:
I grew my beard for the pleasure of its touch and to be different from other "normal" shaved men. I agree with Douglas Mitchell: it is a delight! My beard has been of this form and length since 2001 and different styles before then.
oh my gosh i want to show you so many more beards... but they take up too much room! just go check out the site for yourself. aaron fahl in georgia is a good one. as is matt in nova scotia. ahhhhhhh facial hair.
im a hustla baby
i just want you to know
it aint where i been
but where im bout to go
i just wanna love ya!
and be who i am
and with all this cash
youll forget your man
jesus lord that has been in my head for like an hour. i dont even know if those are the right words. but it felt good to type it out.
like our dear friend gabriele, i too tried out the myspace pose and found, to my surprise, that i quite like it! it seems to be a flattering angle, and it is an easy way to get more than your face in the frame. no wonder those emofags have been doing it for so long! (if you take offense to that.... yeah actually i dont care. i say it a lot, get over it.)
anyway, here i am with a handful of ass!
oh my god thats sick! get your hands out of your pants!
ok. time for the heavy stuff. if youre only here to be entertained, DONT CLICK! its long.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
something strange has happened to me over the past several months. it appears as though my body is no longer ok with drugs or alcohol. its the oddest thing, and im really not sure why its doing this. but i cannot handle getting high anymore, it makes me really sick. and its not like im just trying to get used to it or something; i started smoking the reefer when i was 12. the following 5-6 years are mostly a blur, as i tried my best to be fucked up on something every moment i was awake. (this is not some sad pity-story, i just really like drugs.) i am actually glad that i got into these things at a younger age, because ive got the whole thing out of my system by now. i still enjoy a good buzz from time to time, but if i could never touch those things for the rest of my life, i would be perfectly ok. and that feels really good. its funny, i hung out with a lot of kids in high school who wouldnt dream of being under the influence of anything. some of them made sure i knew how much better they were than i because they were 'clean.' but then college came, and now every one of them thinks getting drunk and high is the coolest thing in the world. and im thinking... why are you so excited about getting smashed in your dorm room every nite? you should have been sneaking out to go party with the high schoolers with me when we were 14. that was more fun. i guess curiousity always tends to get the best of us, some later than others. i look at them almost like they are younger than me, like they have a lot of lessons to learn and a lot of growing up to do. it kind of makes me laugh, really.
but back to the story. it started several months ago, i noticed that being high wasnt quite as enjoyable as it used to be. mostly its physical things: headaches, body aches, the jitters, extreme tiredness... just overall an incredibly uncomfortable feeling. its so bad that i cant stop thinking about why its happening and trying to stop it, so i start to worry and i overthink things and then im miserable physically and mentally. so i did it less and less until i hardly ever did it at all. then, a few weeks ago, i went outside to smoke a cigarette during class. my friend sarah came out and she had a bowl packed, so we smoked it and went back to class. as soon as i started walking up the stairs i felt dizzy. by the time i got to the top i was so hot that i was peeling layers of clothes off and was still sweating. i got to my easel and stood for a minute, and it just got worse. i was shaking and was so dizzy i couldnt stand up, then everything went black and i knew i was going to pass out. i went into the other room and laid down on the table, and this lasted for another good 30 minutes. then it just went away. i hadnt been eating or sleeping very much, so i assumed thats what the issue was. but ive smoked 3 times since then, and the same thing has happened every time. its so weird, its like my body is telling me that im not allowed to smoke anymore. its kind of a shame, but oh well. i kind of have to obey it.
other drugs, its not so bad. ive noticed that pretty much any mood-altering substance gives me an enormous headache anymore. but at least i dont feel like im going to die. alcohol, basically the same thing. i get really, really sick. at least now ive gotten to the point that i can feel when its coming on, and i can stop drinking before it kicks into full gear. i am really very grateful for that, though. alcohol is my demon. anything that can convince me to lay off the liquor is a blessing in disguise. i am loud and rowdy and i become hell-bent on getting laid. "you dont want to fuck me?? well fuck you! i beat your fucking ass, then well see if you want to do what i tell you to do." oh god... its bad. the problem is that i dont know when to stop, or rather, i cant stop. im not satisfied unless im completely shitfaced and out of control. in fact, my drunken antics at denison university (my best friend michaels school) have earned me the name 'out of control anna.' ive got lots of those, actually. here, i will make a list.
annas grievances with alcohol:
(*note* i am the queen of blacking out - i almost never remember anything that happens when i drink, and i wouldnt believe half of this shit if it werent for the fact that i cause scenes in front of large groups of people who in turn tell everyone about it.)
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
- the abovementioned nickname comes from a nite in which we went to a party, before which i had chugged a mug full of grey goose (classy!). i somehow got the idea in my head that i shouldnt wear clothes (that happens a lot) and michael kept making me put my shirt back on. i went into this girls room and found her cds and changed all the cds in the stereo, and apparently everyone thought i was trying to steal her shit. i just didnt want to listen to nelly anymore, goddamn. the 10 minute walk home took about 30 because i would either refuse to walk or veer off into the opposite direction every 10 seconds. when we got back to the dorm i started walking up & down the hallway, rubbing my face all over the walls and moaning (???) then i fell out of the top bunk and hit my head on the railing (who the fuck put me up there in the first place??) i had the biggest, blackest bruise that you have ever seen on my ass the next day. i swear it lasted for weeks.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
- i am no longer welcome at a certain friends house because of an incident in which i became extremely intoxicated, threw up all over their bar (2x), and proceeded to have drunken sex with a good friend from high school that was apparently so loud that it woke up the entire family. embarassing.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
- my junior year of high school, my friend dena and i decided to get drunk at school every day for a week straight. we had been doing this since middle school, and our process was perfected. vodka & gin were brought in a water bottle, dark liquors in a coke bottle, and any colors in a gatorade bottle. we would skip gym and drink in the locker room, or pass it back & forth during lunch, but never too much passing, that gets suspicious. we would get giggly, glassy-eyed drunk, but never to the point that it was out of control. until friday, the last day. i think i had gotten a little cocky because we had been pretty wasted all week and hadnt been caught. hell, wed been doing it for 4 years and hadnt been caught. we were working in the computer lab and i started to fill styrofoam cups with vodka and drink it about 10 feet away from the teacher. it was a pretty powerful feeling; i remember feeling very invincible. unfortunately, thats the last thing i remember, until the very end of the day when i woke up in the principals office in someone elses clothes. i guess i drank more at lunch, tripped and fell on the way out of the cafeteria, and refused to get up. dena literally dragged me down the hallway (we were both wasted so this was all good fun) and to the locker room, where i threw up in (or around) the toilet. we went to english class together, i left half way through, went to the bathroom, and puked all over the floor & myself. dena found me after class and another girl let me change into her gym clothes. i had to go to biology without her, and it was all downhill from there. i was over the puking but i was just piss drunk and loud, we were watching a film that day and i was screaming at people in the middle of the movie, the teacher asked me to leave, and thats how i ended up in the principals office, drunk as hell at 2pm with pukey hair and someones smelly gym clothes. i wont get into what happened, but i wasnt allowed to come back to school until exams. my parents also made me ride the bus to and from school the first haf=lf of my senior year. (not cool).
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
- after getting busted with alcohol and pot a few times, i wasnt allowed to spend the nite at my friends houses anymore. so i stopped coming home after school. in the span of a month my parents had to track me down and pick me up at other peoples houses three times, and i was so drunk i dont remember any of them. they were all at like 5pm on a weekday. one of those times dena and i took a bottle of 151 to mt gilead and decided to take a shot in every parking lot in town. i had also taken several tylenol pm previous to the drinking, and dena ended up telling my parents to come get me because she thought i was going to die. they were taking me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped when i regained consciousness, and apparently started to come out of it. they made me go to school the next day, too. i was so hungover i could hardly walk and took several trips to the bathroom throughout the day to throw up.
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
- my very first boyfriend (i was 18 - yeah, im a late bloomer) broke up with me after, i think 6 months? because he said i was 'out of control.' (that keeps coming up, doesnt it?) on his 21st bday i was supposed to be his ride home from the bar, but i was pissed that he got to drink without me, so i went to the bar with a water bottle full of coconut rum (yummy!). quite obviously, i got shitfaced, loud, and confrontational, and ended up getting us kicked out of the bar. i am no longer welcome there. i also sprained my ankle whilest trying to see how fast i could spin around the pole in the basement. but i didnt notice it because i was so drunk, and i woke up the next morning with an ankle the size of a baseball. but he didnt break up with me then. a week later, we were at a st patricks day party & i had a little too much green beer. he was being an asshole and we started arguing, then i punched him in the face (it was more or less semi-contact. i dont think my hand-eye coordination was exactly 'on.')... and he just left, it was over. after he left, i got into a fight with another guy there and tried to kick his ass, unfortunately he is about twice my size. he just ended up with some cuts and bruises; i had to be restrained. i also talked this drunk girl into thinking she might be a lesbian, and we got it on in the bedroom upstairs, with the door open so everyone could see. then i walked around naked for a while. i ended up leaving the party with another guy, we went to a bar and had sex against the wall in the bathroom.
ok i could go on and on and on.... but i will spare you. thats a decent sampling of my drunken escapades. i know everyone has a really bad drunken nite every once in a while, but the problem is, with me, its every single time. i have dozens of similiar stories, because i get extremely loud/rowdy/horny/vomitous. thats why im sooooo glad i cant drink like that anymore. i can actually get a decent buzz and enjoy myself. i still only do it very occassionally, though. maybe once every month or two. its mostly just not worth it to me.
im reading back over these stories and im thinking about how much my life has changed in the past year. there is no drama anymore, because i dont allow it. i cant believe how 'in control' i am. that feels really nice. im kind of proud of myself.
uy77777hhhh 7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
o-ren typed that while i was in the shower. can anyone decipher?
want to see a big ol naked man? well, youre in luck, because i drew one today!
im not completely done, and im not completely happy with him. but i still like that one for some reason?
here i am, being hot. as usual.
i also took pictures of myself dancing. oh how i love to dance!
and lastly... i got naked for you. again! oh man you must have done something right. well, not completely naked. but im giving you some t&a, and thats really all im required to do.
as usual, this was TOO LONG. and as usual, i had a million other things i wanted to talk about. next time, my chillins.
congrats for your 2 sets
that quote is from Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World. one of my favorites from that book