i dont really sleep anymore. sometimes when i become so overwhelmingly tired i pass out in the middle of whatever im doing & i will sleep for a half hour, maybe an hour. this happens a few times a day, usually in the afternoon. i think maybe its the complete lack of organization and routine in my life. i have no responsiblities, no school, no job, no one to look after, nothing to fall asleep and wake up for.
currently ive been spending a lot of time on the computer, trying to get everything set up the way i want it. then with my remaining time i eat (but never get full) or sit in my bed and stare off into space (but never fall asleep). i try to work on all the little unfinished projects i have, but i cant seem to focus on anything. im in the process of downloading & installing civ3, and thats something that i can usually play for days straight, so im hoping...
its storming and it has been for hours. i love thunderstorms, and we never get them this time of year. when its light i will probably go outside and watch.
i have an extra ticket to the sigur ros show on february 13th. i wish some of you lived closer, or that i had friends that enjoy ethereal icelandic ambience.
for new years eve i went to a party with my friend tyler. neither of us really knew anyone there. i knew it was probably a bad idea, but considering that my only other option was sitting at home alone, i decided to risk it. to tell the truth, i really didnt have a bad time. i just found the whole experience to be a bit disturbing. some of the girls seemed to think i had a disease (which really isnt that big of a deal, i knew it would be those kind of girls there) so it was kind of funny to see them make complete asses of themselves when they were drunk. but i was really sickened and disappointed by the guys there, who picked out the drunkest ones, made a big circle around them, and tried to get them to have sex with eachother. these girls were sloppy, 'i can hardly stand up or talk and have been puking all nite' drunk. it was this mass of horny boys, chanting and pushing into eachother and trying to put their hands on these girls who obviously had no idea what the hell was going on. i was disgusted. but the thing is, i dont even know if those girls cared. and maybe this is presumptuous, but it seems like thats just what life is to them right now: beer pong and hook-ups. but who the hell am i to talk, all ive got is dream-like consciousness and a laptop.
this was all a pretty depressing entry and i apologize to anyone who actually read it. i just needed to get this out. i dont have any little pictures to add to it, either. sorry
*toast* heres is to something new
currently ive been spending a lot of time on the computer, trying to get everything set up the way i want it. then with my remaining time i eat (but never get full) or sit in my bed and stare off into space (but never fall asleep). i try to work on all the little unfinished projects i have, but i cant seem to focus on anything. im in the process of downloading & installing civ3, and thats something that i can usually play for days straight, so im hoping...
its storming and it has been for hours. i love thunderstorms, and we never get them this time of year. when its light i will probably go outside and watch.
i have an extra ticket to the sigur ros show on february 13th. i wish some of you lived closer, or that i had friends that enjoy ethereal icelandic ambience.
for new years eve i went to a party with my friend tyler. neither of us really knew anyone there. i knew it was probably a bad idea, but considering that my only other option was sitting at home alone, i decided to risk it. to tell the truth, i really didnt have a bad time. i just found the whole experience to be a bit disturbing. some of the girls seemed to think i had a disease (which really isnt that big of a deal, i knew it would be those kind of girls there) so it was kind of funny to see them make complete asses of themselves when they were drunk. but i was really sickened and disappointed by the guys there, who picked out the drunkest ones, made a big circle around them, and tried to get them to have sex with eachother. these girls were sloppy, 'i can hardly stand up or talk and have been puking all nite' drunk. it was this mass of horny boys, chanting and pushing into eachother and trying to put their hands on these girls who obviously had no idea what the hell was going on. i was disgusted. but the thing is, i dont even know if those girls cared. and maybe this is presumptuous, but it seems like thats just what life is to them right now: beer pong and hook-ups. but who the hell am i to talk, all ive got is dream-like consciousness and a laptop.
this was all a pretty depressing entry and i apologize to anyone who actually read it. i just needed to get this out. i dont have any little pictures to add to it, either. sorry
*toast* heres is to something new
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sorry you had to hang out with frat guys. it's hard to ring in the new year on such a bad note. I almost went and hung out with frat guys for new year's, but opted instead to stay home with my parents, play kanasta, and get horribly, stinking drunk.