ankhsunaten

Alright, here we go again with more of my ever-so-informative blogs about the absolutely ridiculous shit that I see on a day to day basis. This time it\'s about males, those striking beasts that roam the countryside looking for yet more land to dominate and women to......well, have perversive sex with. (shrugs) Sorry about the women part but I didn\'t know what else to put in that spot.

Anyway, I was hanging out with a pack of wild males not too long ago and noticed that a group of males will ALL try and fuck the same girl that\'s around. Now, perhaps males are under the impression that all girls are willing to participate, at any given moment, in a 7 guy gang-bang. I don\'t know. But what is it that makes them want to crowd around that ONE girl that may be available and see if excessive amounts of alcohol could perhaps get her to be a willing participant in a multiple blow-job event? Now, mind you, the girl involved was mediocre at best. I mean, she had breasts, a vagina, and could complete simple sentences....so she obviously qualified as a possibility.

So, once one guy began to pay her attention, then the other 6 decided that they too must compete for the right to have sloppy drunk sex.....or at least get some head out of it. The next 15 to 20 minutes consisted of multiple drink purchases until the girl had about 8 drinks on the bar top. Now, 8 free drinks = smart girl. In the same respect, 8 free drinks = guys with hard cocks that have a better chance of possibly scoring with each other than with the girl. For those of you that may be asking the question, \"Why PHAROAH, were you involved in this obvious display of male desperation?\" The answer, no. Simply because a) I have a girlfriend and b) even if I didn\'t have a girlfriend, there were 16 other scantilly clad girls that were hotter less than 5 feet away and I definitely could have at least gotten a blowjob from one of them.

So, just for the sake of entertainment, I continued to observe the comical display. Now, here comes the most FUCKED up line that I\'ve heard pulled out in a long time. And that line was, \"You look like you would be really fun in bed.\" Holy shit!! THAT was the line that\'s supposed to get the girl? Ok, seriously at that point you\'re better off renting a porn and calling it a night. Besides, you don\'t have to buy your hand a drink and you know it\'s going home with you regardless.

Now, this posturing continued for about an hour or so and in the end, the girl drank free all night and went home to her apartment A-L-O-N-E. And all males involved, went home with hard cocks and empty wallets. So, I guess that the moral of this story is that males have an isolated gene that makes them exponentially dumber than females. We do stupid shit to get laid and most of the time, we don\'t get laid unless the proper combination of drugs and alcohol is used. Oops, probably shouldn\'t have typed that one. But, anyway, instead of isolating the male gene I have devised the much smarter plan of simply isolating the gene that makes girls want to take off their clothes and have sex upon introduction. I think that would be easier and more worthwhile. Keep checking the blogs because once I get the procedure approved by the FDA and patented, I will at that time post my findings on MySpace and a LOT of guys are gonna get laid.