OK let's get all updated and whatnot.
So for the last couple weeks Drew and I have been going back and forth with the text messaging like two high school kids. Flirting on the phone. That kinda stuff.
So Friday he texts me all through work and he's talking to me while he's at Meijer buying hobo dinner. You know, meat, cheese, crusty bread. And he happend to pick my favorite cheese, which is Asiago and hes teasing about how he's got all this cheese and how he wonders what he can do with it. So, in a round about way he wanted to come over and bring me some and i was inviting him.
Needless to say it wasn't about cheese.
I wasnt really expecting him to come over since he had mention being really busy and not knowing when he would make his way over. Not to mention that it was 12:30am and I'm about 20-30 mins away.
So he came over and we talked in the kitchen for and hour and a half, almost two. He was impressed by my massive fro and newly pierced septum.
We were really happy to be around each other but it was very awkward, mostly because all of my friends are the type of people who dont catch up. The time we spend apart was a glitch. A scratch on the cd that skips the song. We always just pick up from were we left off. And that was hard to do when you've been fucking somebody for two years and you want to touch them and you really cant because youd be moving to fast. Drew and I have this habbit of always being very cordial and keeping our hands to ourselves on the first meeting and then the second time around its all hands and lips and skin.
You could tell he wanted to kiss me. When I walked him to to the door he asked for a hug and it was very tight and close. Then he asked for another one but this time when we parted he was very close to my face but didnt kiss me.
So I go to school and i get out and hes messaging me all through school and my cousin David calls me and tells me that Gwynne had brought all the shit he left at her house and took it to his that morning. Some how she got ahold of his phone and found out that he and I were texting each other. So when she flipped out she said, "I hope you and your nigger bitch are happy together."
David promply congraulated me and distroying a relationship with out even being involved.
Drew told me he was at David's and he just left. I was bummed because David was on his way to get me. So we said our goodbyes and I went home, got changed, and waited for David. Drew seemed a little supicious so I just kept that in the back of my head. Then David got to the house and told me he had a suprise for me in the car. It was Drew of course. I saw that comming from a mile away.
It was awesome cause the four of us were back together.
So we go back to David and Dacia's and everything is like the last two months didn't even happen. We crashed there and made out on the floor. We talked. He tried to get me to tell him about the miscarrage but i thought it would drive him away, but he said he already knew cause David told him. He thought i would be made but it saved me from having to choke out the words later. I told him I was depressed because I couldnt understand how I could feel such loss and sadness for something I never wanted. He felt that way too, which really suprised me because he was so paranoid about getting me pregnant. I cried.
I'm tearing up now thinking about it.
But at least its out now and I feel like such a great weight has been lifted. I feel no stress no pain.
He thanked me heavily for not being angry and forgiving him. He truely thought I was trying to set him up by being nice to him. But, like I say, anger is a waste of time and engery. Forgiveness forces you to become something better than you were before. And now I am.
So we made out even more and slept. Crashed another night. He touched my face and stared at me the whole weekend. He thought I couldn't see him watching me. Watching my mouth move. Petting my hair. He looked so deeply into my eyes I could feel the back of my head burning.
I just got back this morning. He would be here but he has plans with his sister, who is also really excited about us speaking again. She says I was the only girlfriend she ever really liked. That made me feel good. Now If I could just get his roomate to feel the same way I'll be all set.
David is the man behind the curtain. The chemist that mixes two chemicals. He got us together and managed to get us back together. Even despite the shitty advice he gave now and then he made it work. Like reverse psycology.
So, I'm pretty pleased right now.
Glowing like a motherfucker.
So for the last couple weeks Drew and I have been going back and forth with the text messaging like two high school kids. Flirting on the phone. That kinda stuff.
So Friday he texts me all through work and he's talking to me while he's at Meijer buying hobo dinner. You know, meat, cheese, crusty bread. And he happend to pick my favorite cheese, which is Asiago and hes teasing about how he's got all this cheese and how he wonders what he can do with it. So, in a round about way he wanted to come over and bring me some and i was inviting him.
Needless to say it wasn't about cheese.
I wasnt really expecting him to come over since he had mention being really busy and not knowing when he would make his way over. Not to mention that it was 12:30am and I'm about 20-30 mins away.
So he came over and we talked in the kitchen for and hour and a half, almost two. He was impressed by my massive fro and newly pierced septum.
We were really happy to be around each other but it was very awkward, mostly because all of my friends are the type of people who dont catch up. The time we spend apart was a glitch. A scratch on the cd that skips the song. We always just pick up from were we left off. And that was hard to do when you've been fucking somebody for two years and you want to touch them and you really cant because youd be moving to fast. Drew and I have this habbit of always being very cordial and keeping our hands to ourselves on the first meeting and then the second time around its all hands and lips and skin.
You could tell he wanted to kiss me. When I walked him to to the door he asked for a hug and it was very tight and close. Then he asked for another one but this time when we parted he was very close to my face but didnt kiss me.
So I go to school and i get out and hes messaging me all through school and my cousin David calls me and tells me that Gwynne had brought all the shit he left at her house and took it to his that morning. Some how she got ahold of his phone and found out that he and I were texting each other. So when she flipped out she said, "I hope you and your nigger bitch are happy together."
David promply congraulated me and distroying a relationship with out even being involved.
Drew told me he was at David's and he just left. I was bummed because David was on his way to get me. So we said our goodbyes and I went home, got changed, and waited for David. Drew seemed a little supicious so I just kept that in the back of my head. Then David got to the house and told me he had a suprise for me in the car. It was Drew of course. I saw that comming from a mile away.
It was awesome cause the four of us were back together.
So we go back to David and Dacia's and everything is like the last two months didn't even happen. We crashed there and made out on the floor. We talked. He tried to get me to tell him about the miscarrage but i thought it would drive him away, but he said he already knew cause David told him. He thought i would be made but it saved me from having to choke out the words later. I told him I was depressed because I couldnt understand how I could feel such loss and sadness for something I never wanted. He felt that way too, which really suprised me because he was so paranoid about getting me pregnant. I cried.
I'm tearing up now thinking about it.
But at least its out now and I feel like such a great weight has been lifted. I feel no stress no pain.
He thanked me heavily for not being angry and forgiving him. He truely thought I was trying to set him up by being nice to him. But, like I say, anger is a waste of time and engery. Forgiveness forces you to become something better than you were before. And now I am.
So we made out even more and slept. Crashed another night. He touched my face and stared at me the whole weekend. He thought I couldn't see him watching me. Watching my mouth move. Petting my hair. He looked so deeply into my eyes I could feel the back of my head burning.
I just got back this morning. He would be here but he has plans with his sister, who is also really excited about us speaking again. She says I was the only girlfriend she ever really liked. That made me feel good. Now If I could just get his roomate to feel the same way I'll be all set.
David is the man behind the curtain. The chemist that mixes two chemicals. He got us together and managed to get us back together. Even despite the shitty advice he gave now and then he made it work. Like reverse psycology.
So, I'm pretty pleased right now.
Glowing like a motherfucker.
Last week, I buried my old wedding ring along wth all that shit. It's just not worth it, I wasn't getting any better becasue I was wasting so much time on being angry and hateful and vengeful. All that was happening was it was all coming back on me, and I was losing myself being so angry.
As for me in a kind of "what now" phase. Trying to keep up hope that I will meet someone else