Old friends came to town!!!!! And it was the undergrad's ceremony day!!!!! (hang on I don't give a fuck about that one...)
Well anyway I got seriously drunk and picked a fight with the guy my mate hooked up with. Looked like he was twelve!! How could she to that? I know I told her to stop dating those fucking stupid jesus - "I'm a cooooooool guuuuuuuy" - look-a-likes who are cunting fuck-nuggets, but this was just dumb... he couldn't hold his glass, let alone a conversation.
As Warren Ellis would write - SHOW ME YOUR THUMBS FUCKER!!!!!
THE NUMBER OF TIMES I SLAPPED HIM AROUND THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! HA! He thought I was being chummy until he told me to stop and I slapped him in the face.... hehehehhehehe CHIMPNOBBER!
Anyway, as you can expect of any upstanding 'me', I got so drunk I could hardly stand, then I went and hooked up with an old friend. She a damn fiesty little thing who was enticed into bed by the five cells in my brain that are teetotal specifically for occasions like this. The five of them must've just told the only joke they know... It's a cracker by all accounts but I'm always 'away from the office' when it gets told.
...oh one day I'll know how to pick up girls sober. WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME YOUR SECRETS TEETOTAL BRAINCELLS? hush-hush cunts.
Now I'm recovering by watching a tribute to Richard Whitely called "Television Man" and drinking lots of Jasmine tea. And I'm bored ou tof my FUCKING SKULL!!! When will my flatmate come home and entertain me? DANCE MONKEY DANCE!!!!!!
fuck it.
My ex is coming around later for a cup of tea (and she knows I've got HobNob biscuits) and a chat about her new man. He's a mate but is fucking her around no end. He was with some real ugly girl last night instead and just blanked her. I slap him around the back of the head but it never seems to get through that he should treat her like that.
Ah, the joys of commitment. Or lack of. It's all one big catastrophy which is plumming out slowly until it'll form into a mushroom cloud and everybody around those two should DUCK, ROLL, AND COVER before they get hit in the cross-fire. I live at the other end of town so what do I care?
I'm still new to this... too much waffling. I don't like it. Next one will be just five words. I promise. Sorry. Blame the five braincells. They're alseep and the rest all have hangovers and are kicking shit around in my head... or is it a tiny seal clapping?
There I go again. Piss off me. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well anyway I got seriously drunk and picked a fight with the guy my mate hooked up with. Looked like he was twelve!! How could she to that? I know I told her to stop dating those fucking stupid jesus - "I'm a cooooooool guuuuuuuy" - look-a-likes who are cunting fuck-nuggets, but this was just dumb... he couldn't hold his glass, let alone a conversation.
As Warren Ellis would write - SHOW ME YOUR THUMBS FUCKER!!!!!
THE NUMBER OF TIMES I SLAPPED HIM AROUND THE BACK OF THE HEAD!!! HA! He thought I was being chummy until he told me to stop and I slapped him in the face.... hehehehhehehe CHIMPNOBBER!
Anyway, as you can expect of any upstanding 'me', I got so drunk I could hardly stand, then I went and hooked up with an old friend. She a damn fiesty little thing who was enticed into bed by the five cells in my brain that are teetotal specifically for occasions like this. The five of them must've just told the only joke they know... It's a cracker by all accounts but I'm always 'away from the office' when it gets told.
...oh one day I'll know how to pick up girls sober. WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME YOUR SECRETS TEETOTAL BRAINCELLS? hush-hush cunts.
Now I'm recovering by watching a tribute to Richard Whitely called "Television Man" and drinking lots of Jasmine tea. And I'm bored ou tof my FUCKING SKULL!!! When will my flatmate come home and entertain me? DANCE MONKEY DANCE!!!!!!
fuck it.
My ex is coming around later for a cup of tea (and she knows I've got HobNob biscuits) and a chat about her new man. He's a mate but is fucking her around no end. He was with some real ugly girl last night instead and just blanked her. I slap him around the back of the head but it never seems to get through that he should treat her like that.
Ah, the joys of commitment. Or lack of. It's all one big catastrophy which is plumming out slowly until it'll form into a mushroom cloud and everybody around those two should DUCK, ROLL, AND COVER before they get hit in the cross-fire. I live at the other end of town so what do I care?
I'm still new to this... too much waffling. I don't like it. Next one will be just five words. I promise. Sorry. Blame the five braincells. They're alseep and the rest all have hangovers and are kicking shit around in my head... or is it a tiny seal clapping?
There I go again. Piss off me. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!