I had a big ass freak out yesterday.
It's suddenly started to dawn on me that Uni is nearly over and I am gonna have to go out there and lead a real life, with a real job and stuff, and not sure I like the idea.
I am lucky in that I have a part-time job that pays really well and is enough for me to live off without going full time. Means I have a load of free time for voluntary work and to chase some of the ideas that I had about what comes next while still having a decent income.
The thing that worries me is people are going to be going home and I will suddenly be quite on my own compared to the way things have been the last three years. I find it hard to make new friends. The ones I have now kind of happened by accident. I'm sure you all know how it goes. You start a new job or class and if you don't have a big crowd of pals already you kind of all end up being mates with the noobs at work or school. School is particularly prone to this as there are so many people that are all in the same position.
I am realising that the friends I have now though I have almost nothing in common with, and I don't want to waste my life doing things that don't interest me just so that I have SOMETHING to do with my time. I have more self respect than that.
This will possibly be the most pathetic question I have ever asked in public before... how do you make friends? I have no idea. All my friendships are like all my relationships; I made very little effort to get them going, they just kind of took off on a life of their own. I want people to hang out with that want to do the things I want to do, but in order to find them I have to kind of already be doing them and that is SO intimidating. No one wants to be the guy who clearly went to the ski slopes alone in the hope he would make new friends. May as well just have a big PATHETIC tattoo carved into my forehead.
Ugh, I dunno. Maybe I will work this out as time goes on. When I don't think I am fine, when I do think I freak out as the reality starts to hit me. Is it this hard for everyone to make friends? Maybe it's just cuz I am shy or something.
It's suddenly started to dawn on me that Uni is nearly over and I am gonna have to go out there and lead a real life, with a real job and stuff, and not sure I like the idea.
I am lucky in that I have a part-time job that pays really well and is enough for me to live off without going full time. Means I have a load of free time for voluntary work and to chase some of the ideas that I had about what comes next while still having a decent income.
The thing that worries me is people are going to be going home and I will suddenly be quite on my own compared to the way things have been the last three years. I find it hard to make new friends. The ones I have now kind of happened by accident. I'm sure you all know how it goes. You start a new job or class and if you don't have a big crowd of pals already you kind of all end up being mates with the noobs at work or school. School is particularly prone to this as there are so many people that are all in the same position.
I am realising that the friends I have now though I have almost nothing in common with, and I don't want to waste my life doing things that don't interest me just so that I have SOMETHING to do with my time. I have more self respect than that.
This will possibly be the most pathetic question I have ever asked in public before... how do you make friends? I have no idea. All my friendships are like all my relationships; I made very little effort to get them going, they just kind of took off on a life of their own. I want people to hang out with that want to do the things I want to do, but in order to find them I have to kind of already be doing them and that is SO intimidating. No one wants to be the guy who clearly went to the ski slopes alone in the hope he would make new friends. May as well just have a big PATHETIC tattoo carved into my forehead.
Ugh, I dunno. Maybe I will work this out as time goes on. When I don't think I am fine, when I do think I freak out as the reality starts to hit me. Is it this hard for everyone to make friends? Maybe it's just cuz I am shy or something.
lenya:
Oh! I have this same problem. Even thoe people think I'm really super-popular, and yes I know a lots of people. But in the end I always spend my time alone working and blogging.. Pathetic? Maybe. Or maybe it is just an illnes of our times. There is no recepie for this - I had lots of friends when I started to go to every party in one club. First was bartenders, then the resto of staff, the dj, manager and so on... Maybe it is a tip.